tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-73973060365931863082024-03-13T08:39:22.647-07:00HotDamnTVCreating a better internet through science.HotDamnTVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12839342370002253742noreply@blogger.comBlogger200125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-86947065392890796952016-01-04T23:44:00.000-08:002016-01-04T23:44:00.546-08:00How To Do A Science with Grant<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BPANdg0ddcg/Votv_zJEGXI/AAAAAAAABjg/P42r4f4mYMA/s1600/Science%2BBanner.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="384" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BPANdg0ddcg/Votv_zJEGXI/AAAAAAAABjg/P42r4f4mYMA/s640/Science%2BBanner.png" width="640" /></a>One day we were sitting around drinking and watching the netflix and we remarked on how fun it would be if every time one of us came in the house a sitcom style studio audience reaction took place. Like a swell of applause and laughing, a twang of bass guitar, a ladder smacking a window and a guitar riff followed by "Hey Sam", that kind of thing! We were so enamored with the idea (and the drink) that we decided that we would provide our own studio audience catcalls whenever someone entered. Usually the ever popular "WooooOOo" :
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So after a while we grew tired of that and put away such thoughts of studio adulation. Until an idea sprang up on the webs of someone doing something very similar with the help of a robot! Over at <a href="http://geekologie.com/2015/12/guy-builds-door-sensor-plays-seinfeld-ba.php">Geekologie</a> (aka the website that refused to publish a link of our <a href="https://youtu.be/QRZLMt5Zq-g" target="_blank">Brief History of Beer</a> clip which was awesome and quickly garnered more hits than stuff we worked on for weeks because they are jerks. Or maybe that was TheAwesomer. I can't remember. So many tough guy news/video aggregate sites that almost make original content, its hard to keep them all straight.) I first noticed noticed that with the help of an Arduino my dreams were possible!
So after a little bit of research and a decision to make Morgan's Xmas awesome via science I set out to recreate this enchanting micro-robot. I couldn't find step by step instructions anywhere on the internet so I made things up as I went along!
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">MATERIALS</span></i><br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SL2eAW7Y5Hw/VotP42pI3aI/AAAAAAAABhw/J3vXBsK8fww/s1600/MagneticSwitch.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-qRlNYKK4LHQ/VotP8R7uixI/AAAAAAAABh8/05cXIKyqnrU/s1600/mp3Shield.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-SL2eAW7Y5Hw/VotP42pI3aI/AAAAAAAABhw/J3vXBsK8fww/s1600/MagneticSwitch.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a><br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Knock off Arduino : <b>$9.99</b></td></tr>
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1.) LANMU® UNO R3 Atmega328p Atmega16u2 2014 Version Board Arduino Mklg. Now I dont know much about Arduino stuff but this one is definitely some kind of knock off (sorry nice folks that make arduino) that is the same thing only it costs about 10 bucks. As far as you know. These sweet rigs are available on Amazon for cheap, and I imagine as long as you get a similar board (important that it is an Arduino Uno R3!) and you get it shipped direct from the heart of the Mongolian Empire, or wherever such things are made you could probably get it for even cheaper.<br />
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2.) Music MP3 Shield by LinkSprite. The important thing about this shield is that it is compatible with an Arduino Uno and plays MP3s, other than that you figure it out. This sweet rig is very cheap and is going to be adding MP3 playback capability to your Arduino project, including a Line Out to pipe that sweet sound out. There are many different options available, some include an onboard AMP so you can wire in speakers directly. That model is like 3 bucks more expensive so I opted to not use it. If you are feeling ambitious please feel free to do whatever you want. I got mine on Amazon.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Magnetic Reed Switch : <b>$6.00</b></td></tr>
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3.) Magnetic Switch (aka a Reed Switch) Possibly the cheapest thing you'll be buying, or rip one off of the door at your local 7-11. They can be had by the dozen for a low low price. You can buy either kind (Normally Open or Normally Closed) or just buy one you can change by attaching wire to the different connectors. This thing is powered by magnets, or things that befuddle juggalos to no end. They are much cheaper than an IR switch and in my mind much more reliable, so that your mom's cats walking by won't trigger the sensor.<br />
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">22 AWG Wire :<b> IDK LOL</b></td></tr>
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4.) The rest is up to you, depending on how fancy you wanna get. The only other thing that you for sure need is wire to hook the switch into the arduino. I always have 22 AWG solid copper wire laying around the house because I do lots of science with re wiring all my arcade projects and I find it easy enough to work with. I got super fancy and crimped them on to forked wire terminals that I then attached to Breadboard Jumper Wires and then attached to the ports I wanted on the arduino, but I had that stuff laying around, you can just poke wires in, solder them, use a breadboard, whatever you wanna do.</div>
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5.) The last thing you need is something to play the music and some way to power the arduino. As it comes with a USB cord to connect it to your computer you can just grab a spare wall brick (like the ones that came with your moms Iphone charger that she let me use last night.) or go with a wall power adaptor. As for the sound you can go as ham as you want. I hooked mine up to my brother's expensive guitar amp. I'm probably going to get a decent soundbar speaker and hook it into that and make the whole package a bit prettier. We'll see.</div>
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<i><span style="font-size: large;">INSTRUCTIONS</span></i></div>
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1.) <b>Connect the MP3 Shield to the Arduino</b>. This is about as simple as it sounds. Most of these things come with the male and female pins already attached so you build it like some kind of non trade marked interlocking brick toy. That will look like this:</div>
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2.) <b>Prepare your micro SD card</b>. Due to some complicated coding reasons I wanted to make sure I had mp3 file names that all had the same length of characters. So all my file names are "XX.mp3" (10.mp3 being the first one that way there were no file names with fewer characters.). Many of the mp3 shields you may be working with had file allocation table limitations and size limitations, I chose a 2GB micro SD card formatted to FAT16. (Ask your mamma about my FAT16. Heh). I loaded on all the sound effects and then inserted that into my mp3 sheild. There is only one way to do this so if you can't figure it out just quit now.<br />
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Here is where I got the mp3s:<br />
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And some nice peaceful reddit internet warrior named splam ripped them all and cut them into individual mp3s. So click his dropbox full of virus beetles here:<br />
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<a href="https://www.dropbox.com/s/jrluj9hm9b1c3ut/Seinfeld_transition_slap_bass_clips.zip?dl=0">https://www.dropbox.com/s/jrluj9hm9b1c3ut/Seinfeld_transition_slap_bass_clips.zip?dl=0</a></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-X2pdfaJPpXM/VotcATE5p8I/AAAAAAAABi4/aNLh3WHZPps/s1600/JumperWires.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-X2pdfaJPpXM/VotcATE5p8I/AAAAAAAABi4/aNLh3WHZPps/s320/JumperWires.jpg" width="320" /></a>3.) <b>Wire Up The Magnetic Switch</b>. Now, if you have fancy breadboard jumper wires scattered about your workshop this is a good time for them. You can stuff 22 AWG wire right into a female end and make everything work without any soldering or ugly butt connectors. So consider getting a few because they make everything much easier. And you can get a bushel of them for like 8 bucks on amazon. I used one Male>Female and one Female>Female jumper wire in my application.</div>
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So here's a bit of science for ya, in order for a switch to work its got a signal wire and a ground wire. When the switch is in crucuit then the wire is basically making contact with the ground and that is telling the tiny robot that holy shit something is happening. In your case the thing that is happening is that the magnetic switch is open (because you opened the door!) so then we can make the robot do something about it. Like play a sound. So how do we connect all this stuff together? Especially if you have no idea how to do any kind of elite hacker engineering. Check it out:</div>
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<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The wire on the left is connected to a port on the arduino, the right is connected to a ground.</td></tr>
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The idea is that you connect one wire to the one that goes to COM. on the magnetic switch, (or your common ground. May just say Ground on your switch) and the other wire to Normally Open or NO. Because that's what we're testing for. So if your arduino reads a HIGH voltage then your switch is not making contact, so in your fancy code you'll be writing you'll get a value of 1, because its Open. When its closed, or making contact you'll be getting a value of 0. The NO wire you'll be connecting to the 28th pin on your arduino, or the one closest to the reset button right by the USB jack. For whatever reason that is referred to as the 19th Pin when you're writing code, yea I dunno why and i couldnt be bothered to learn. But trust me its the 19th pin and its the one closest to the reset button on the bank of pins on the right. The Ground wire you connect to the only available ground pin which is found in a group of 6 pins just to the left of the pin you hooked up the NO wire to. Its in a cluster with a 5volt pin so make sure you don't accidentally connect it to that one, since that may cause 5v of sweet electricity to go some place you don't want. There are also some other pins in that area that are labeled with scary letters and I have no idea what they do, so use caution.</div>
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Here is a fancy diagram that indicates with giant pink and yellow arrows and pink dots the pins we're talking about:</div>
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4.) <b>Now you start writing the code</b>. So make sure you keep the other end of the magnetic switch closed by (like by taping it together, we don't want infinite Seinfeld music playing as you go to test it all out) and let's plug the arduino into the computer with a sweet USB cable that either came with it or you have from buying that shitty printer from target. This is already getting a bit too long so I'm not going to explain how to download the arduino development and whatnot. Follow documentation for how you get the libraries to work for the mp3 shield. If I decide it is too difficult (took me a few tries while drunk coding) then I'll add that to the tutorial in an appendix.</div>
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Here, dig the code I wrote (while drinking):</div>
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Now in case you are wondering about the dozen or so lines devoted to generating a random number and then concatenating it with a file suffix, and then turning that string into a character array its simply because for whatever reason (I am not a clever man, ask Dan) the function that plays music doesn't accept strings. Or maybe it does and I'm just not understanding the syntax. But this works and plays a random mp3 file and doesn't require you to traverse the entire directory, or do anything other than follow my naming convention. Radical, now upload your sketch to your arduino and brace for moderate excitement.<br />
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5.) <b>Testing and Installation</b>! Keep everything plugged into your computer and plug in some headphones or your speakers to the Line Out and marvel as when you hold the sensor together it does nothing but when you move it apart it plays a random Seinfeld riff! Excellent. Now go attach it to your door, and do whatever you have to do to get it powered . I used blue painters tape to temporarily secure it for practical testing (as you can see in the video near the top).<br />
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I think we learned a lot here today. If you have any questions or comments pipe in below, or if you want me to build you one bring the components and some beer to my house. Big things are happening fellows, TK is very busy doing stuff with Aaron (which should be a thing soon), and my average blog output is <1 a year! Huzzah.<br />
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-GGranthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-12924920736906466552015-08-19T22:19:00.002-07:002015-08-19T22:19:16.599-07:00The Blog is Dead, Long Live the BlogTK writes:<br />
We haven't posted anything in a very long time, and I don't imagine you've missed us. However, we have been working on something very big that we hope to announce soon. In the meantime, enjoy an easy to navigate index of all the HotDamnTV drinking games we've ever posted, mostly based on movies. The majority of them were written by Grant (pic related, it's Grant). I think you'll find it very comprehensive, you damned lush.<br />
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<u><b>HotDamnTV drinking games for your liver and brain</b></u><br />
<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2013/07/drinking-game-live-starring-bob-levy.html"> Live! starring Bob Levy </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2012/01/drinking-game-disneys-s-word-in-stone.html"> Disney's S-word in the Stone </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2011/10/drinking-game-sunshine.html"> Danny Boyle's Sunshine</a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2011/05/drinking-game-back-to-future-i.html"> Back To The Future I </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2011/04/drinking-game-stop.html"> Stop! </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2011/02/drinking-game-poverty.html"> Actual poverty. </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2011/02/drinking-game-swat.html"> SWAT </a>
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<a drinking-game-prince-of-persia-sands-of.html="" hotdamntv.blogspot.com="" href="https://www.blogger.com/blogger.g?blogID=7397306036593186308" http:=""> Prince of Persia: Sands of Time </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2011/01/drinking-game-planet-earth.html"> Planet Earth </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2011/01/drinking-game-harry-potter-meta-game.html"> Harry Potter </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2010/12/drinking-game-thunderstruck.html"> Thunderstruck! </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2010/12/drinking-game-home-alone.html"> Home Alone </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2010/12/drinking-game-unforgiven.html"> Unforgiven </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2010/11/drinking-game-robin-hood-disney.html"> Robin Hood (Disney Animated) </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2010/10/drinking-game-robin-hood-men-in-tights.html"> Robin Hood (Men in Tights) </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2010/04/today-is-friday-i-swear-srsly.html"> Robin Hood (Classic) </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2010/05/hey-there-sportsfans-its-time-for.html"> Willow starring Tom Cruise </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2010/11/drinking-game-scott-pilgrim-vs-world.html"> Scott Pilgrim vs. The World </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2010/10/drinking-game-stargate.html"> Stargate </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2010/08/drinking-game-pong.html"> pong </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2010/04/fonolly-fockong-frodoy.html"> The Crow </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2010/04/finally-fxcking-friday.html"> Conan the Barbarian (original) </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2010/01/drinking-game-obama-speech.html"> State of the Union Address (Obama version) </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2009/11/drinking-games-big-lebowski.html"> The Big Lebowski </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2009/11/drinking-games-children-of-men.html"> Children of Men </a>
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<a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2009/11/drinking-games-spirit.html"> The Spirit </a><br />
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That's it, kids! What interesting drinking games have you come up with? Post them in the comments below so we can all be drunk and alone together over the internet. Drink responsibly! Or don't, I'm not your dad. HotDamnTVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12839342370002253742noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-39105520495613144682014-01-13T23:15:00.000-08:002014-01-13T23:18:52.943-08:00cHERyl<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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INT. BASEMENT -- AROUND 3PM</div>
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Lyle had clearly just woken up. He is a hikikomuri living in his mother's basement, he loves his anime his country and his God. One day he receives a strange message on his googlechat machine.</div>
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Lyle puts on his fedora.<br />
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Lyle pauses the newest episode of My Little Pony : Friendship is Magic and clicks again!<br />
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Lyle's fedora falls off as his desire to know more increases!<br />
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Lyle would never be a member of any sight that would have him, unless it is a forum discussing Christ and The Transformers.<br />
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Lyle smoothes the creases in his cargo shirts and clicks again.<br />
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And that's probably how HER goes. Or something much like it. Joaquin Phoenix is nowhere near as meta and edgy as James Franco. Also here is this:</div>
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<br />Granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com18tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-41341595132410189152013-11-19T18:30:00.001-08:002013-11-19T18:30:54.783-08:00We're Not Smoking Crack...<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-n6PI6Vz6lX4/UowepedDUfI/AAAAAAAABSQ/DQaempO2Qyo/s1600/IAGO.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="111" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-n6PI6Vz6lX4/UowepedDUfI/AAAAAAAABSQ/DQaempO2Qyo/s200/IAGO.png" width="200" /></a>I get a lot of emails every day. Most of it is spam, some of it is daily epic deals and suchlike, but I have been pleasantly surprised with the awesomeness of one company. Spirit Airlines has the testicular fortitude to set itself apart as the Michael Richards of email marketing. They're as edgy as the parrot from Aladdin making a joke about 9/11 WAY too soon after the 9/11s. <br />
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One morning while browsing the emails that hand wandered into my inbox over night like wisps of fog blown across a Scottish moor (delicious visuals) I chanced upon one with the title "We're Not Smoking Crack..." and then glanced over to the sender and saw it was my dear and faithful penpal Spirit Airlines. They are almost as faithful as the crap I get from a linked in account I made in college, or the damned offers from Mimis Cafe. That sort of attention is not worth a free breakfast guys. I opened the email instead of banishing it directly to the fourth ring of hell (my trash folder) and was greeted with this:<br />
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This could be the edgiest spam email I've ever received and although I have no idea how I got onto their mailing list I now fully endorse spirit airlines. To make a joke about Rob Ford and used it as a way to market flights to the city of delicious snow (you got that snow, man?) is absolutely awesome. According to a coworker who is from Canada, Toronto used to be a nice place. My Grandma used to say that about the Plaza Bonita Mall in Chula Vista, but she was always being racist because brown people made her nervous. Old racist people are adorable. </div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-a9xibApo1Io/UowbvA0ToMI/AAAAAAAABSE/GfECN6vUcnA/s1600/ROB_FORD.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="120" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-a9xibApo1Io/UowbvA0ToMI/AAAAAAAABSE/GfECN6vUcnA/s200/ROB_FORD.png" width="200" /></a>In case you are confused about why jokes about smoking crack are funny and you were wondering why a hitchcockian silhouette and a record tally would be funny you sure have come late to the party. Your boy (Rob Ford, the <strike>former</strike> <strike>current</strike> <strike>whatever</strike> guy from Toronto) apparently likes to get really wasted with "urban" individuals and smoke a bunch of crack. And shoot video of it. Well done Toronto.</div>
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-G<br />
<br />
PS: Have you guys been watching our new season of CRAFTY?! Its going very well. So many delicious beers, and we put our livers on the line for YOU! Visit <a href="http://www.hotdamntv.com/crafty" target="_blank">HotDamnTV.com/crafty</a> or go to <a href="http://www.hotdamntv.com/" target="_blank">HotDamnTV.com</a> and click on the delicious beer. Or get lost browsing our website like I get lost in Cary Elwes' eyes in The Princess Bride and maybe you'll find it. Episode two is out now!</div>
Granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-16588218020669688882013-09-03T01:37:00.000-07:002013-09-03T01:37:00.401-07:00HORRORS of Craigslist! (part iii)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-M6tYBsB3l1I/Ue3vEXkHIFI/AAAAAAAABNA/u6TY4NPktSk/s1600/HORRORS_OF_CRAIGSLIST.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-M6tYBsB3l1I/Ue3vEXkHIFI/AAAAAAAABNA/u6TY4NPktSk/s1600/HORRORS_OF_CRAIGSLIST.png" /></a></div>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Welcome my little friends to the darker side of one of the most useful and spookiest places on the internets! This is <i>HORRORS OF CRAIGSLIST~!</i>
Each thread of this tapestry of woe and misery will be woven together
before your very eyes. Witness if you dare, the first installment that
removes the rose tinted spectacles and reveals true unpleasantness and
shocking audacity on the world's largest free classified page. Read on
fellows, if you're a bad enough dude.</span></blockquote>
<h2>
part iii: Free... GIVE ME a trampoline.. For my goats? </h2>
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Normally when you find something posted in craigslist's free section (aka the part of the ocean floor just past the continental shelf where everything just kind of slides off into the abyss, but just before the spooky tranny meetup threads) it is someone trying to give something away. For free. That's what its for. The vast majority of the posts follow this seemingly simple formula. The other two things that get placed are panhandlers and SCAM ALERT white knight bullshit. Panhandlers seem to think that by demanding a free washing machine or refrigerator because god bless you and I have 10 kids and they all need new ropas de ninos for school and whatever sob story you should make getting free shit on craigslist easier for them and I guess they're entitled because they almost spelled everything right in their ad. Nice try Bruce, but free shit is earned through luck and skill. It doesn't just fall in your lap.<br />
<br />
All rants aside though, this beggar has got to be the most awesome one I've ever seen. He wants a trampoline for his goats to gambol on! Gamboling is goats doing goat stuff. Ya know, like frolicking. This guy is some kind of saint. He has so much going for him. When have you ever used the phrase "my goat herd" in a sentence? Let alone this awesome sentence:<br />
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And this guy took the time out of his busy schedule to include names and pictures of all of his rad goats (that he employs on his sexy animal farm):<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Lm5syDA3oy0/Uh21h5a55tI/AAAAAAAABQQ/cCdK4LLb92Y/s1600/Goatpile.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="185" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Lm5syDA3oy0/Uh21h5a55tI/AAAAAAAABQQ/cCdK4LLb92Y/s640/Goatpile.png" width="640" /></a></div>
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<span style="font-size: xx-small;">Lotus, Gorgeous, Blake, Zen, Christina, Lucy and Moose (The bad boy)</span></blockquote>
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Why this guy owns goat(s) I really don't care, but damn it he wants them to be happy! SOMEONE GIVE THIS GUY A TRAMPOLINE! I'm not even going to go over how he's from Antelope Valley, one of the worst parts of the country since Hesperia formed itself a municipal county. Also take note, if you were inclined to give this guy a trampoline you can find yourself the proud owner of some spooky not so free range chicken eggs and some <i>preserves</i>. Now he did state what was preserved, but if its in a mason jar and you got it from a weirdo there is a 90% chance its urine.<br /><br />
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On
a scale of 1 to SPOOOKY this ad rates a 1/2 out of 5 possible spook'ems for meeting the following
criteria: Awww lookit the goats doing goat stuff on a trampoline! </div>
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-G</div>
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PS: Know of any <i>horrors of craigslist</i> we should know about? Drop us a line here in the comments or on our <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/7356236631/" target="_blank">learning challenged facebook page</a>!
While you're here you should probably subscribe to our jazz and also go
to the facemash and join that! We will love you forever and let you
play with our Army Men in the sandbox.</div>
Granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-74219683159723322462013-08-28T01:05:00.000-07:002013-08-28T01:05:27.204-07:00HORRORS of Craigslist! (part ii)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-M6tYBsB3l1I/Ue3vEXkHIFI/AAAAAAAABNA/u6TY4NPktSk/s1600/HORRORS_OF_CRAIGSLIST.png" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-M6tYBsB3l1I/Ue3vEXkHIFI/AAAAAAAABNA/u6TY4NPktSk/s1600/HORRORS_OF_CRAIGSLIST.png" /></a></div>
<br />
<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Welcome my little friends to the darker side of one of the most useful and spookiest places on the internets! This is <i>HORRORS OF CRAIGSLIST~!</i>
Each thread of this tapestry of woe and misery will be woven together
before your very eyes. Witness if you dare, the first installment that
removes the rose tinted spectacles and reveals true unpleasantness and
shocking audacity on the world's largest free classified page. Read on
fellows, if you're a bad enough dude.</span></blockquote>
<h2>
part ii: Free... SPIDER for $50? </h2>
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AYoyn9qmxjM/Uh2qDiqVzLI/AAAAAAAABPI/0GroXw_VutE/s1600/HORRORS_SPIDER_TC.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AYoyn9qmxjM/Uh2qDiqVzLI/AAAAAAAABPI/0GroXw_VutE/s320/HORRORS_SPIDER_TC.png" width="288" /></a>OH MY GOD KIDS GET BACK IN THE CAR, Look at the size of that spider! I happened to be browsing the Free section (aka Le'Section Du Excellence) the other day and stumbled across this gem. Finding some savage trying to sell something for $50 in the free section is always a treat, but a varmint that he found behind his toilet? In Long Beach? By all the gods. <br />
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I do applaud Adam's effort, I even decided to blur out his phone number. Kudos for being brave enough to put that up. I wonder who would respond to an advert like this? In my mind I imagine the conversation would go something like this:<br />
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TRANSCRIPT BEGINS:<br />
<br />
**RING RING RING**<br />
<br />
ADAM: Hello, this is like Adam and stuff.<br />
<br />
CALLER: ~HEAVY BREATHING~<br />
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ADAM: HELLO? Enrique is that you vato?<br />
<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-COOWnmVrQnI/Uh2uw0vOMOI/AAAAAAAABPo/UOowVzysm9k/s1600/huge_spider.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="279" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-COOWnmVrQnI/Uh2uw0vOMOI/AAAAAAAABPo/UOowVzysm9k/s320/huge_spider.png" width="320" /></a>CALLER: ~Clears throat~ H...hello, I am calling in regards to your<br />
~sharp inhale as voice changes pitch a bit higher and more frantic~<br />
Spider, it looks really lovely and I think I could give it a good home is it still available I am driving around long beach now just in case I came all the way from La Canada Flintridge and I would really like it!<br />
<br />
ADAM: (barely audible: Oh Jesus..) Umm, yea man but the price went u<br />
p this is like a premium spider with all legs fully attached and shit esse.<br />
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CALLER: ~High pitched squeak~ So what you're saying is that it is available?<br />
<br />
ADAM: Yea, I just said it was. Damn.<br />
<br />
CALLER: And its Huge? You said you would be willing to trade, what can I do to make this happen?<br />
<br />
ADAM: I dunno like unnn.... Maybe some rims or something? My little primo has this dope razor scooter and we wanna trick it out. I mean its like already pretty low to the ground, but rims would help eyyy.<br />
<br />
CALLER: Done and done. What is your address. ~Sharp inhale~ I'll write it down in my palm pilot.<br />
<br />
**TRANSCRIPT ENDS**<br />
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You know, and more like that. Only weirder. I hope to the dark lord of the Missed Connections section of Craigslist that someone actually answered this guy's ad. I am sure it must have been magical.<br />
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On
a scale of 1 to SPOOOKY this ad rates a 5/5 for meeting the following criteria: Holy shit what the fuck a spider? It was posted in the free section and your boy clearly wanted to get paid for a fucking spider he found in his bathroom! And finally because he seemed to think that someone might be willing to barter for a spider. He found. In his bathroom.</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QtyJIfC5x_U/Uh2s_Kkr6jI/AAAAAAAABPU/fYfP5RwnlHs/s1600/5SPOOKY.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QtyJIfC5x_U/Uh2s_Kkr6jI/AAAAAAAABPU/fYfP5RwnlHs/s1600/5SPOOKY.png" /></a></div>
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-G</div>
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PS: Know of any <i>horrors of craigslist</i> we should know about? Drop us a line here in the comments or on our <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/7356236631/" target="_blank">learning challenged facebook page</a>!
While you're here you should probably subscribe to our jazz and also go
to the facemash and join that! We will love you forever and let you
play with our Army Men in the sandbox.</div>
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BONUS: Since this is our first ever 5/5 on the spook-o-meter here is a bonus gif that probably wont work because I don't think blogger likes gifs:<br />
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<br />Granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-53597025299454639422013-07-24T08:00:00.000-07:002013-08-28T01:47:24.476-07:00HotDamnTV Book Club : Chapter 1<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-LpUVXa8hliE/T4PLNArmW_I/AAAAAAAAA20/wbrX7Lzux_k/s1600/SHARK_BOOKCLUB.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5729646575327009778" src="https://lh3.ggpht.com/-LpUVXa8hliE/T4PLNArmW_I/AAAAAAAAA20/wbrX7Lzux_k/s1600/SHARK_BOOKCLUB.jpg" style="display: block; height: 333px; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; width: 500px;" /></a><br />
Books are neat. They are full of words, punctuation, and all sorts of different notions! The HotDamnTV Book Club is going to be an ongoing semi <span style="font-size: xx-small;">(heh, semi)</span> regular feature about literature.<br />
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<span style="font-weight: bold;">Chapter 1: Or, Why Haven't <span style="font-style: italic;">THEY</span> Made This Stuff Into Awesome Movies Yet?</span><br />
<span style="font-size: xx-small;">EDIT: I wrote this post like 2 years ago and I'll be damned if all of these things aren't either going to be built into movies or have already become one!</span><br />
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I do realize that a good portion of these authors/books that I am about to discuss may or may not be in various states of production and well on their way to becoming films, or may have already been made into a really stupid animated movie (Watership Down, I'm looking you squarely in the eyes) but I don't care. Moving on, I am going to discuss a few properties that should be movies and express my indignation at their absolute lack of box office presence. If you haven't read 'em, go out and get your learn on!<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-fmujRG9efbU/T4PBkWNbnbI/AAAAAAAAA2o/dUwnUm5pcLg/s1600/6_ready-player-one.png"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5729635981126770098" src="https://lh3.ggpht.com/-fmujRG9efbU/T4PBkWNbnbI/AAAAAAAAA2o/dUwnUm5pcLg/s200/6_ready-player-one.png" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 200px; margin: 0 10px 10px 0; width: 122px;" /></a><b>Ready Player One - Ernest Cline</b><br />
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I'm working on another blog specifically about this book, but suffice it to say that it is incredible. One of my favorite books of all time. Ernie Cline wrote Fanboys (easily one of the most under rated and over looked geek movies of all time) and if you liked that movie you'd love this book. This book is chalk full of video game and pop culture references from the 80s and would be a licensing nightmare to try to produce, but ohhhhhh so worth it! It would be so epic. In a dystopian near-future a willy-wonka esque contest plays itself out in a virtual world not unlike The Matrix or Snowcrash and it is awesome. That's why it should be a movie. The other blog is way longer, so stand by and I'll do some cross linking when I'm done with all the typing and whatnot.<br />
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<b>UPDATE</b>: The movie rights have been sold and Ready Player One is currently in production! It is my life's work to become a part of the cast or crew of this film. I'd spit-shine lenses for just copy and credit if Ernie would have me. <br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-VE1uArN8Z30/T4PBRrAWWgI/AAAAAAAAA2c/4WjFU6DPUIc/s1600/4_Redwall.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5729635660291529218" src="https://lh3.ggpht.com/-VE1uArN8Z30/T4PBRrAWWgI/AAAAAAAAA2c/4WjFU6DPUIc/s200/4_Redwall.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 200px; margin: 0 10px 10px 0; width: 127px;" /></a><b>Redwall (series) - Brian Jacques</b><br />
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I was once a young boy, and at some point I was in the third grade. Even at this early age I had been told constantly how much potential I had and that I was special or something because I read so much and barely had to study to ace tests like it was my job. Once upon a yesteryear I walked into my school library and asked the Librarian if she had anything in the occult section. I had learned the word the previous week and had read a pretty fresh book about a vampire that lived in a library and did vampire stuff to roast beef sandwiches instead of people's necks. The kindly lady replied that there was not really an occult section because this was a public library in a grammar school. Undaunted I demanded that she fetch for me her largest tome. According to her the longest book in her repository of knowledge was one by none other than Brian Jacques, and it was called Redwall.<br />
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I was enthralled! These were tales of high adventure and more than that they had pages and pages dedicated to describing delicious feasts. I'm a big fan of stuffing the old gob so these passages really spoke to me. Every one of Jacques' books are full of battles, suspense, escape, slavery, possible racism, moles that have serious speech impediments. I couldn't put them down and over the years I have read just about everything Jacques wrote. If you like young adult furry fiction look no farther than this series. Get eyes on some crummy fan made trailer or something. Its all more or less rubbish.<br />
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I recently <strike>found a website to stream the animated series online</strike> supported the author's estate and bought a copy of the cartoons. The cartoons are absolute shit and so repetitive it makes Jean M. Auel's Earth's Children books seem like they're not just 6-14 pages of descriptions of prehistoric ferns. This property could do with a good CGI movie full of excitement and peril.<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-BKkyzgOzrSs/T4PAbM2Rb3I/AAAAAAAAA2Q/qFbExnFsRbc/s1600/3_DarkTower.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5729634724483264370" src="https://lh3.ggpht.com/-BKkyzgOzrSs/T4PAbM2Rb3I/AAAAAAAAA2Q/qFbExnFsRbc/s200/3_DarkTower.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 200px; margin: 0 10px 10px 0; width: 142px;" /></a><b>The Dark Tower (series) - Stephen King</b><br />
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When I was unemployed for an extended period of time a few years ago my then current and very muscley flatmate Steve introduced me to Steven King's The Gunslinger, the first tale in the epic meta-fiction and genre bending journey that would become known as the quest for The Dark Tower. I was hooked, I couldn't put them down! For something like 2 months I spent pretty much every spare minute reading through all of the ponderous tomes (Sorry Steve, but you and I both know that your books are worth their weight in gold and no editor would dare remove so much as a semicolon.) and eventually I got to the end. No spoilers, but I'm sure we all know that if a journey is grand enough the destination doesn't really matter. There are periods on the end of all of our man's sentences and that's good enough for me.<br />
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Bringing the entire scope of this sage to life on celluloid (or whatever is inside of memory cards) would be a challenge. I'm not even sure if HBO could do it. Perhaps focusing on one movie at a time and making it as amazing as possible would be the ticket.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-jtAFVk9cXqA/T4O_3Mwbl7I/AAAAAAAAA2E/Fgzk1xKGPEA/s1600/2_DragonDrums.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5729634105983473586" src="https://lh3.ggpht.com/-jtAFVk9cXqA/T4O_3Mwbl7I/AAAAAAAAA2E/Fgzk1xKGPEA/s200/2_DragonDrums.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 200px; margin: 0 10px 10px 0; width: 128px;" /></a><b>The Dragonriders of Pern (series) - Anne McCaffrey</b><br />
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Much to my (and I'm sure Ms. McCaffrey's) chagrin the only bit of media produced under the Pern banner has been a by all the gods awful dreamcast game. It was like Shenmue bad. I cringe just typing about it. I feel like I need to clorox wipe my keyboard.<br />
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How can such a rich body of work be so long neglected? There are countless amazing stories to choose from, to say nothing of the incredible world that Anne McCaffrey built with so many thousands of pages. Take the Harper Hall Trilogy (just three of 22 novels in this verdant landscape) and make that into an epic HBO mini series! Or literally any of the novels could stand alone and fill 90 pages of script and be a pretty fun summer event. Dragons, Killer thread falling from the skies and devouring anything not made of stone, medieval stuff, DRAGONS! These books were so much fun to read as a kid I would literally devour one in a sitting. Staying up way past my bed time and destroying my vision by the dim glow of my lava lamps I would read them cover to cover.<br />
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Here, clap eyes on some of the shitty gameplay. Its all more or less like this:<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-lpalUPvk774/T4O_LngzcMI/AAAAAAAAA14/LWPcF4yKoIE/s1600/1_Ender%2527s_Game.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5729633357251440834" src="https://lh3.ggpht.com/-lpalUPvk774/T4O_LngzcMI/AAAAAAAAA14/LWPcF4yKoIE/s200/1_Ender%2527s_Game.jpg" style="cursor: hand; cursor: pointer; float: left; height: 200px; margin: 0 10px 10px 0; width: 128px;" /></a><b>Ender's Game - Orson Scott Card</b><br />
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Ender's Game is the quintessential precocious child book. Kids read this at a young age because the protagonist is a kid who does something that is almost unheard of in any type of fiction (or literature in general), that is behave like an adult and have complex views on what is going on in the world around them. Card for years said he refused to give an Ender's Game movie his blessing because he hate's CGI. That is all well and good, but I guess science has caught up to Card's <a href="http://www.bilerico.com/2013/07/tolerate_your_homophobia_ummm_no.php" target="_blank">moderately homophobic</a> but otherwise excellent vision of the future where small kids should beat up aliens. I have read all of the Ender's books, and even the weird ones with grown up Ender and all sorts of time travel and existential science fiction and its all great stuff. I am very excited and I can't wait for Ender's Game to come out. Also it has Han Solo in it! Here, dig the trailer and try not to develop a serious case of the goosepimples:<br />
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That's it for this classy discussion of literature by learned men. Do you have a favorite book that you think would make a dynamite movie? Post it here in the comments! Or go back to our dumb <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/7356236631/" target="_blank">facemash page</a> and leave one there.<br />
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BONUS: Brian Jacques seducing the shit out of you:<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ZZt1vNXDRuY/T4PRzf3_e6I/AAAAAAAAA3A/kW62MdAkN-U/s1600/BrianJacques.jpg"><img alt="" border="0" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5729653833605282722" src="https://lh3.ggpht.com/-ZZt1vNXDRuY/T4PRzf3_e6I/AAAAAAAAA3A/kW62MdAkN-U/s200/BrianJacques.jpg" style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center;" /></a><br />
-GGranthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-17445488534116629762013-07-23T08:00:00.000-07:002013-07-23T08:00:01.265-07:00HORRORS of Craigslist! (part i)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-M6tYBsB3l1I/Ue3vEXkHIFI/AAAAAAAABNA/u6TY4NPktSk/s1600/HORRORS_OF_CRAIGSLIST.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-M6tYBsB3l1I/Ue3vEXkHIFI/AAAAAAAABNA/u6TY4NPktSk/s1600/HORRORS_OF_CRAIGSLIST.png" /></a></div>
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<blockquote class="tr_bq">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">Welcome my little friends to the darker side of one of the most useful and spookiest places on the internets! This is <i>HORRORS OF CRAIGSLIST~!</i> Each thread of this tapestry of woe and misery will be woven together before your very eyes. Witness if you dare, the first installment that removes the rose tinted spectacles and reveals true unpleasantness and shocking audacity on the world's largest free classified page. Read on fellows, if you're a bad enough dude.</span></blockquote>
<h2>
part i: Free Palm Trees</h2>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-m7c186Gfcr4/Ue3yxPNLBhI/AAAAAAAABNQ/PmPfJ8koPFc/s1600/CL_PALMTREE.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-m7c186Gfcr4/Ue3yxPNLBhI/AAAAAAAABNQ/PmPfJ8koPFc/s320/CL_PALMTREE.png" width="212" /></a></div>
The free section of craigslist is amazing. I've gotten myself a dryer that more or less works, something like half a dozen trampolines, even a full sized arcade machine! But it has a darker and much more sinister side. Are you familiar with freebie marketing, also known as the razor and blades business model? Its kind of like that. Or more accurately the ol' bait and switch.<br />
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You show up to the free section of craigslist and think to yourself, "Lamb sakes, would you look at this? Some kind and benevolent soul is offering me not one but FIVE free palm trees? Holy crow that is an exceptional deal. I'm going to tweet the pope right now and start the beatification process because this guy is some kind of modern day Pope Pius XII (Hitler's pope lol, you can look it up he was actually not that cool)."<br />
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But my dear friend you are wrong. As with anything in the free section of listo del Craig you have to think about the other end of the poker table. Why would someone be giving away perfectly good crap? Because removing gigantic fucking palm trees costs serious time, money, and effort! Even if you weren't going to save it or replant it (seriously dude?) and just chop it down that alone is a bill from your boy Ernesto with several zeroes in it. Let's take a closer look.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qRsXh8ad1NU/Ue31TQE3fiI/AAAAAAAABNg/EzSSbaGUElc/s1600/CL_PALMTREE_INSERT1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="145" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-qRsXh8ad1NU/Ue31TQE3fiI/AAAAAAAABNg/EzSSbaGUElc/s320/CL_PALMTREE_INSERT1.png" width="320" /></a></div>
AH HAH~! That's the kicker right there. Who in there right mind would want to do this? Much like the other<i> horrors of craigslist</i> I ask myself, "Is anyone actually stupid enough to fall for this obvious bid for free labor and/or junk removal?" <br />
I guess I should blur that guy's number, unless you dear reader are VERY excited about his free palm trees.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-g0tEDnRa6LA/Ue32C2alwJI/AAAAAAAABNs/HA-H9fkDg7E/s1600/CL_PALMTREE_INSERT1_Blur.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-g0tEDnRa6LA/Ue32C2alwJI/AAAAAAAABNs/HA-H9fkDg7E/s1600/CL_PALMTREE_INSERT1_Blur.png" /> </a> </div>
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There, much better. Nice and respectful of the ol' privacy and such like, wot? Wait, back that minecar up, are those free pine trees beautiful AND 30ft tall? Let me run right out and strap 3 of them to my '94 Saturn SL2.</div>
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On a scale of 1 to SPOOOKY this ad rates a 4/5, not too original but if you are stupid enough to fall for it woe unto thee! The lesson here my precious little curly haired maidens is do not even bother clicking on a free palm tree post. Use your noggins for something other than a hat rack!</div>
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-G</div>
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PS: Know of any <i>horrors of craigslist</i> we should know about? Drop us a line here in the comments or on our <a href="https://www.facebook.com/groups/7356236631/" target="_blank">learning challenged facebook page</a>! While you're here you should probably subscribe to our jazz and also go to the facemash and join that! We will love you forever and let you play with our Army Men in the sandbox.</div>
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<br />Granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-30144142103295014842013-07-22T00:47:00.000-07:002013-07-22T00:47:39.302-07:00Drinking Game : Live! (Starring Bob Levy)<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JCyE3mkJ-Hw/UezSSs1APJI/AAAAAAAABMA/T5OtITZe9HY/s1600/EvaMendes_HEADER.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JCyE3mkJ-Hw/UezSSs1APJI/AAAAAAAABMA/T5OtITZe9HY/s1600/EvaMendes_HEADER.png" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ywMnLYMMtAo/UezUsLWXI4I/AAAAAAAABMY/kABgJ6S7LWI/s1600/BOB_AUTOGRAPH.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ywMnLYMMtAo/UezUsLWXI4I/AAAAAAAABMY/kABgJ6S7LWI/s200/BOB_AUTOGRAPH.png" width="149" /></a>I have lots of friends who were in movies, but none I respect more than Bob. Bob is not only one of the most talented directors in the game but he also has more heart than a bag of sweethearts valentines day candy. When he told me that he was in a movie where he played a director I immediately had to run out and get it (and by run I mean of course use the internet to buy it at a high price.). The movie is actually pretty good (no Gymkata or Miami Connection, but what is?) and I especially enjoyed Bob's acting. Imagine Arnold's Running Man on even more steroids and with more bullets and you pretty much have Live! starring <strike>Eva Mendes</strike> Bob Levy! So sit back and enjoy the life imitating art imitating life!<br />
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Step 1: Get a hold of "Live!"<br />
Step 2: ???<br />
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<span style="font-size: 130%;">Rules:</span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Qe0Vd7_deYw/UezUsPzcJaI/AAAAAAAABMU/f5k7niRkGdw/s1600/BOB_ACTORING.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="225" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Qe0Vd7_deYw/UezUsPzcJaI/AAAAAAAABMU/f5k7niRkGdw/s320/BOB_ACTORING.png" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="font-weight: bold;">Drink Whenever the following is said or heard:</span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Live!</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Bob (aka The Director) calls the line cut (i.e. Camera 1! Ready Camera 7! etc.) (<u>drink twice</u> if you actually see him doing the directing) </span></span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Reality</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Russian Roulette</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;">Ratings (including a number and the audience share)</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-weight: normal;"><span style="font-weight: normal;"> </span><i><span style="font-weight: normal;"><br /></span></i></span>Drink Whenever the Following is seen:<br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;">Someone pulls a trigger </span></div>
Someone breaks the 4th wall (usually looking at the camera, but sometimes talking to the flimsy director of the fake documentary that frames up the film)</div>
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Unnecessary star filter on the revolver </div>
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<u>WATERFALL</u>: When Bob does his opening speech! </div>
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Characters in the film drink anything</div>
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Nudity (one or more nipples attached to a female lady)</div>
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Boom in shot</div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kdze3JoMnUE/UezUr8hMriI/AAAAAAAABMQ/fDV2cr-eqPE/s1600/BOB_CREDIT.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="300" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-kdze3JoMnUE/UezUr8hMriI/AAAAAAAABMQ/fDV2cr-eqPE/s400/BOB_CREDIT.png" width="400" /></a></div>
Finish Your Drink When:<br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;">WTF 50 Cent? </span><br />
<span style="font-weight: normal;">SPOILER: The Bro from Santa Cruz Shots himself </span></div>
SPOILER: Katie Gets Shot</div>
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<b>NIGHTMARE MODE:</b></div>
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Fund our kickstarter to get Bob to do director commentary! (Just kidding. Or are we?..)</div>
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<b>REAL NIGHTMARE MODE:</b></div>
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DRINK CHILI BEER THE ENTIRE GAME~<br /><div>
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<b>Final Thoughts:</b></div>
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GRANT: I've got a really great feeling about this, now all we have to do is test it. From my notes we have a lot of LIVE and a lot of Bob calling the line cut so I think this should go really well. Wanna see me suffer through a movie like Howard the Duck or Gigli just to try to build a drinking game? Feel free to suggest a new movie for us to do up in the comments here or on <a href="https://www.facebook.com/HotDamnTV" target="_blank">our dumb Facebook page</a>! Thanks for lookin' at the first new drinking game in like 2 years! Stay more or less satiated my friends.<br />
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<br /><a href="http://www.tysanbudd.com/" target="_blank">TYSAN</a>: Grant, I love Bob and he is the only thing that enabled me to sit through this movie, but we both know that I was missing a beer. So heaven forbid I would have to endure this again and not just fast foward to 11 time emmy award winning Bob Levy's brave and Oscar worthy performance, I think some serious drinking describe in such text above is required. hashtag drinkingrequired.<br />
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-G<br />
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BONUS: That up there is <a href="http://www.tysanbudd.com/" target="_blank">Tysan</a>'s first ever blog post! Holy crow. Also, one of Bob's favorite beers is Chili Beer, go get you some!<br />
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Granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-56675575536605267472013-06-25T16:03:00.002-07:002013-06-25T16:03:43.240-07:00similar vol.2<center>
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So after much hemming and hawing and gnashing of teeth, here's part two of an on going series on movies that are awfully
similar. Was one studio just too lazy to think up an original idea? Is
there some "inspired by" going on? Is America just ready for two
movies about Victorian era magicians? The people cry out, and its for
two movies about trains.<br />
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I pride myself on watching movies and then telling other people my deeply personal thoughts about 'em via the interwebbys, but this will not be one of those cases. I've never seen either of the two films we are discussing today. I was so thoroughly confused when I saw posters and adverts for White House Down that I honestly thought it was the same movie. Seriously. Both appear to have a Black President (farfetched, I know) and some mansome secret service fella who will undoubtedly start the movie with a suit on but end it in a tank top or an undershirt. But honestly, as a fan of black president hunky white secret service dude white house action films 2013 is truly a banner year.<br />
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Let's take a look at some stats:<br />
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"Olympus Is Down":<br />
Budget: $70,000,000<br />
Release Date: 22 March 2013<br />
Amount of Plot Keywords: 144 <br />
Runtime: 120 min<br />
Trailer:<br />
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"White House Falling":<br />
Budget: $150,000,000
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Release Date: 28 June 2013<br />
Amount of Plot Keywords: 15<br />
Runtime: 131 min<br />
Trailer:<br />
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While White House (stick with me here, I know this is going to get confusing) has more than twice the budget of Olympus, it is clear which movie is superior since not only does Olympus have almost 10 times the plot keywords but it also has 100% more Morgan Freeman. Freeman has been a staple for decades as the go to semi-mystical black man / presidential figure. He has played GOD for God's sake! Although so has Alanis Morisette (Isn't that ironic?). If Morgan Freeman wasn't enough Olympus is Stumbling also has Dean McDermott, one of the manliest actors on TV. Pic is related on the right, Dean McDermott. He is a pretty cool guy and often plays a pretty cool dude on tv shows and movies. He occasionally shows up on morning television on Hallmark Channel's Home & Family. <br />
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Upon further review (of just the trailers, not the movies) I have managed to piece together the jarring fact that apparently Morgan Freeman is not the black president in the one movie, he is the speaker of the house who ends up being the acting president because I guess the chinese murdered everyone else or something? I also learned that we don't negotiate with terrorists and/or madmen.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Vd1JjrQ6qXY/UcohgFs_HTI/AAAAAAAABJY/YcipFrMJZXU/s1600/the-worlds-end-movie-poster.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Vd1JjrQ6qXY/UcohgFs_HTI/AAAAAAAABJY/YcipFrMJZXU/s200/the-worlds-end-movie-poster.jpg" width="135" /></a>I probably will not pay to see either of these movies. In fact I couldn't be bothered to watch both trailers. These movies excite me almost as much as cop-drama or lawyer-drama tv shows. The only thing remarkable about either of these films (term is used loosely) is that they are so similar. All we are doing here is throwing more pies people. One pie may be funny, but if you throw another pie at someone it does not get twice as funny (if it was funny or good to begin with). Save your money and go see the third installment in the coronetto trilogy, The World's End starring my boy Sean from Sean of the Dead (not to be confused with The End starring almost every funny contemporary american comedian/stoner)<br />
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-G<br />
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(BONUS: You just read the first complete blog I've written in like 1.5 years. I am America. Also we are still hard at work on CRAFTY! We've got something like 3 or 4 episodes in the can so look forward to the future.)Granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-51530437455495175132012-04-30T12:45:00.000-07:002013-12-20T18:35:29.006-08:00Crafty: The Webseries about Great Local Beer<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: small;">Hello and welcome to HotDamnTV's latest project: </span><span style="font-size: small;"><b><u>Crafty</u></b> </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: small;"><b>LATEST EPISODE - HANGAR 24 CRAFT BREWERY </b></span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;">(fullscreen 1080 for best results)</span></div>
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Here at HotDamnTV, we love to drink craft beer constantly because it feels good. Each week we'll take you to a brewpub, microbrewery, or beer festival and learn more about what makes craft beer the greatest thing in the known universe. Millions of Americans are suffering from the plague that is macrobrewed light beer, and our goal with Crafty is to raise awareness about high-quality craft beer.<br />
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Previous episodes:<br />
<b>(Season 1)</b><br />
ep. 101 - <a href="http://www.hotdamntv.com/#!youtubeywliujkn7zQ" target="_blank">Stone Brewing Co.</a><br />
ep. 102 - <a href="http://www.hotdamntv.com/#!youtubehwbY9QMFLG8" target="_blank">Ballast Point Brewing Co.</a><br />
ep. 103 - <a href="http://hotdamntv.com/#!youtubeAwLwk4fwTIQ" target="_blank">Ladyface Ale Companie</a><br />
ep. 104 - <a href="http://hotdamntv.com/#!youtubezVgrBkj-X6k" target="_blank">The LAB Brewing Co.</a><br />
ep. 105 - <a href="http://www.hotdamntv.com/#!youtubeO_Dm5UxvyCY">Mother Earth Brew Co.</a><br />
ep. 106 - <a href="http://www.hotdamntv.com/#!youtubeO_Dm5UxvyCY">LA Beerfest</a><br />
<b>(Season 2)</b><br />
ep. 201 - <a href="http://hotdamntv.com/#!youtubekLmxPum3cVw" target="_blank">The Bruery</a><br />
ep. 202 - <a href="http://hotdamntv.com/#!youtuber9zAwFYyJ5U" target="_blank">Ironfire Brewing Co.</a><br />
ep. 203 - <a href="http://www.hotdamntv.com/#!youtube1n9Ox8ubHrY" target="_blank">Homebrewing</a><br />
ep. 204 - <a href="http://www.hotdamntv.com/#!youtubeTyyzIr-jEus" target="_blank">Coronado (pt. 1)</a><br />
ep. 205 - <a href="http://hotdamntv.com/#!youtubeRvCW4y3qFIs" target="_blank">Coronado (pt. 2)</a><br />
ep. 206 - <a href="http://hotdamntv.com/#!youtubeRvCW4y3qFIs" target="_blank">Acoustic Ales Brewing Experiment </a><br />
ep. 207 - <a href="http://hotdamntv.com/#!youtubeABs5L9D22bg" target="_blank">Hangar 24</a><br />
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We hope you'll join us in spreading the word for this important cause. New episodes will be posted on <a href="http://hotdamntv.com/" target="_blank">HotDamnTV.com</a>, and on our <a href="http://youtube.com/hotdamntv" target="_blank">Youtube channel</a>, so be sure to tune in to the internets near you and enjoy it. If not, you're probably drinking malt liquor out of a plastic cup and your face is stupid. Stay tuned! Crafty has new episodes every Friday through Dec 20th.HotDamnTVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12839342370002253742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-44998442911634075232012-03-19T08:00:00.000-07:002012-03-19T20:10:56.099-07:00One time I ate 50.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6V3MvcPSNjs/Ty37-1UXdsI/AAAAAAAAAwc/b6wf4SZBXXc/s1600/SHARK_NUGGIES.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 333px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-6V3MvcPSNjs/Ty37-1UXdsI/AAAAAAAAAwc/b6wf4SZBXXc/s400/SHARK_NUGGIES.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5705493359831250626" border="0" /></a><br />I'm not a super human. I'm just a man. I put my pants on in the mornings just like all of you do: I tie one side to the door with Red Vine licorice and the other end is held by Golden Globe winner Peter Dinklage, and then I jump into them from atop a stack of Korean phone books (from Special Self-Governing Province (特別自治道 특별자치도 teukbyeoljachi-do)). I decided that the time has come to put my body on the line, to truly test the limits of human endurance. I am going to eat 50 McDonald's chicken McNuggets.<br /><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XkbTca3E-RE/Ty398K3gCfI/AAAAAAAAAwo/iOikGwQrRq0/s1600/raykroc.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 140px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-XkbTca3E-RE/Ty398K3gCfI/AAAAAAAAAwo/iOikGwQrRq0/s200/raykroc.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5705495513099405810" border="0" /></a>I know what you're thinking, 50? Really? Those are probably meant for like 2 or 3 people, or maybe a few meals. That's the kind of thinking that caused Soviet Russia to lose the space race (like a whole bunch of commie bitches). I'm as American as apple pie, I know that Mr. Ray A Kroc would never wish to do me harm. If he hadn't intended one person to eat 50 of those fried hunks of mana he wouldn't have put it on the menu.<br /><br />Preamble: I order the 50 McNuggies from some twenty-something who clearly is disappointed with his lifechoices. I inquired after the perfect blend of spice and flavor and he recommended the "Hot" mustard. I accepted and then his McTraining kicked in and he tried to offer me a soda and fries, to which I replied "Dude, I'm eating 50 McNuggies." "Oh, ok yea that should be enough," he responded. I have to wait a few minutes for all of the humble McWorkers to build a heap of chicken gristle.<br /><br />McNugget 1: By the gods, this has to be the hottest and freshest McNomnom I've ever had. Perhaps even too hot.<br /><br />McNugget 2: I crack open the "Hot" mustard. Not spicy. Not dijon. "Hot" mustard. The flavor is smooth and it mixes with the MSG and seaweed filler paste in my nuggies to make a happy feeling in my mouth. This was a good decision.<br /><br />McNugget 10: One box down. Easy peasy lemon squeezy. This thing is in the bag. I move on, still with a full head of steam. The nuggies are hot and still moist, they slide down easy.<br /><br />McNugget 17/18: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS. Some kind of hideously malformed giganugget has met my grasping hand. Two nuggets joined together like those two broads that have all the freaky Siamese twin specials on Dateline and stuff. Fun Fact: Those girls were offered a hefty sum by the goons over at SomethingIsAwful.com to make a sexy tape. They came up with a total of $42.15 and the girls declined.<br /><br />McNugget 20: Normally a stopping point, but not today. Slowing down a bit, but I'm not one to be bested by a lump of polyhydrogenated surimi paste with chicken bits.<br /><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PdIsuNSZOUg/Ty3-5t4_4QI/AAAAAAAAAw0/56COFFLbfpg/s1600/SHARK_MCNUGGERS2.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 334px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PdIsuNSZOUg/Ty3-5t4_4QI/AAAAAAAAAw0/56COFFLbfpg/s400/SHARK_MCNUGGERS2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5705496570472947970" border="0" /></a>McNugget 30: Phew. Losing steam here. Feeling strong though, powerful like Michael Dudikoff from American Ninja. I am out of "hot" mustard, so I have moved on to the Buttermilk "ranch". A potent oil based lubricant, all the better to slide those nuggers on home.<br /><br />McNugget 33: Still driving and enjoying my 50 slices of Americana. The headlights going the opposite way on the highway sting my eyes. Is that sting pride... Fucking with me?<br /><br />McNugget 40: I arrive at my apartment and pull into my parking garage. It seems even shittier than I remember and all of the graffiti in the elevator greets me like an old friend. I'm pretty glad for the respite. I heft the bag full of the final ten tenders and more napkins than that drive thru gives to a dozen customers. It feels like regret, ponderous like a middle aged overweight black lady's breasts. I reach the safety of my apartment and my stomach feels strange. I eat.<br /><br />McNugget 42: These nuggies have grown cooler and the texture now resembles that of an ice hockey rink that has not bee zambonied in a month (rough). You know when you eat like 2 reef pipes and then smoke 6 bowls of Captain Crunch and your mouth gets a serious sandpapering? That is the joy that I am now experiencing. Except I don't smoke the reefer. I am stone cold sober and eating a gross metric ton of Chicken McNomgets.<br /><br />McNugget 45: I get up and walk around a bit. I feel like a pregnant woman trying to hasten her delivery. There is a food babby growing within me. It is not friendly.<br /><br />McNugget 50: Like Lance Armstrong with twice as many balls! Like Rocky but with fewer swollen eyeballs. I am pretty fucking terrific.<br /><br />To recap, this is what I did this to myself:<br /><ul><li>145 Grams of Fat</li><li>25 Grams of Saturated Fat</li><li>120 Grams of Protein</li><li>35 Grams of Cholesterol</li><li>5,025 Mg of Salt</li><li>1 Gram of Riboflavin </li></ul>The question is, are you a bad enough dude to try it yourself?<br /><br />-GGranthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-41126448722368189372012-02-05T16:07:00.000-08:002012-02-06T17:32:48.111-08:00Second FiddleBeing the violinist in Elton John's band must suck. Does anyone know his name (Jean-Luc Ponty, keep calm and carry on I wiki'd it)? Not even the fanciest E.J. fanboy (lol did you know he changed his middle name to Hercules?) can claim to know who the fuck he is, let alone pick him out on the streets. Being the fiddler in a band must be pretty fresh but also a lot like being the kicker on the football team. The show could not go on without him, but no one would be that angry if he died of cholera. We are here today to remember that unsung hero, the guy (or chick) that rocks that fiddle as HARD as fucking possible. Here are the top 5 baddest fiddle players alive today (in no particular order):<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Guy From Yellowcard</span><br /><br /><center><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/X9fLbfzCqWw?rel=0" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="369" width="500"></iframe></center><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xTx_jnuE7Jk/Ty8v2Hfs0wI/AAAAAAAAAxw/arIsIGMPFT0/s1600/YellowCard.PNG"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 130px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-xTx_jnuE7Jk/Ty8v2Hfs0wI/AAAAAAAAAxw/arIsIGMPFT0/s200/YellowCard.PNG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5705831859673158402" border="0" /></a>I vividly recall when this video came out and being entranced by the fucking guy with the fiddle. He was rocking out WAY too hard considering the type of instrument he was using. I was confused and a little bit frightened. But then I realized that he was rocking easily three times as hard as the rest of the lame fucks in this band! He knows that he is playing the fiddle in a rock ensemble and that he'll never be in Maroon 5 but he doesn't care. Own it faux-hawk fiddle guy!<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Guy from Turisas</span><br /><br /><center><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/7woW7DmnR0E?rel=0" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="284" width="500"></iframe></center><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JQNNsvDrf-0/Ty8jE06eyiI/AAAAAAAAAxA/M2hBp-YsZyA/s1600/Turisas.PNG"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 116px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-JQNNsvDrf-0/Ty8jE06eyiI/AAAAAAAAAxA/M2hBp-YsZyA/s200/Turisas.PNG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5705817818732087842" border="0" /></a>These guys are from Finland. I know because they said that before they opened up for Dragonforce. They rock hard as shit, as a matter of fact not only do they have an electric violin but they have a fine chick playing an accordion! These dudes are some bad ass vikings who wear war paint and just fuck shit up. I want to be everyone in this band when I grow up.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Chick from Kung Fu Vampire</span><br /><br /><center><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/n3SP3HMSntA?rel=0" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="284" width="500"></iframe></center><br />I actually know this girl's name (Razz) she is a friend of the HotDamns. Dig it, here is a picture of me 'n TK with her:<br /><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BNUyO983G04/Ty8lSU9uqGI/AAAAAAAAAxM/EizPWhi6QkQ/s1600/Razz_KFV.png"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 334px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-BNUyO983G04/Ty8lSU9uqGI/AAAAAAAAAxM/EizPWhi6QkQ/s400/Razz_KFV.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5705820249697200226" border="0" /></a><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YQP41YQ5DtI/Ty8nQDoWnvI/AAAAAAAAAxY/zG04nuUYas0/s1600/KungFuVampire.PNG"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 122px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-YQP41YQ5DtI/Ty8nQDoWnvI/AAAAAAAAAxY/zG04nuUYas0/s200/KungFuVampire.PNG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5705822409707658994" border="0" /></a>Kung Fu Vampire has got more people in it than Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band. Real talk. When they have enough room to fit them all on stage there is a cellist, the head vampire himself, an opera singer, a drummer, a bass player, and Razz (one of the dopest fiddlers to ever rock a bow), and like seven other people. KFV's fiddler is certifiably badass. She rocks in a very mellow style while adding a spooky victorian era horror vibe to the entire proceedings.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Some broad from Dixie Chicks (She might not even be in the band, I don't know.)</span><br /><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-z4HpfM7GNs0/Ty8oiEUPEUI/AAAAAAAAAxk/f3JOSvZfEfk/s1600/ChicksWithDicks.PNG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 282px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-z4HpfM7GNs0/Ty8oiEUPEUI/AAAAAAAAAxk/f3JOSvZfEfk/s400/ChicksWithDicks.PNG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5705823818640986434" border="0" /></a>I guess there is a chick playing fiddle near these girls. There will be no video. These guys suck.<br /><br />NOTE: Is there a difference between a violin and a fiddle? Can the terms be used interchangeably? The world may never know.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">The Flute Guy From Jethro Tull</span><br /><br /><center><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/nqZD7wVxSi0?rel=0" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="369" width="500"></iframe></center><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dRmn6yI-ybs/TzB9bDzJJgI/AAAAAAAAAzE/NeNBwEpVB0I/s1600/IanFromJethroTull.PNG"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 143px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dRmn6yI-ybs/TzB9bDzJJgI/AAAAAAAAAzE/NeNBwEpVB0I/s200/IanFromJethroTull.PNG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5706198631708173826" border="0" /></a>Ok, I know there isn't a violin player in this outfit but you have to respect a guy who rocks with a flute. I'm not even sure the words rock and flute had been used in conjunction prior to this guy. Seriously, that thing up there is more than 7 minutes of flute badassery. I wish I could play the flute like this guy. He's almost as good as Ron Burgundy (another San Diego native).<br /><br />-GGranthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-20581465861631217502012-01-07T08:00:00.000-08:002012-01-07T08:00:05.410-08:00Drinking Game: Disney's S-Word In The Stone<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ObGUZv5vm3A/TwT3HKlOoKI/AAAAAAAAAt0/ouaL7d3hYBo/s1600/HITitSOhard.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 400px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-ObGUZv5vm3A/TwT3HKlOoKI/AAAAAAAAAt0/ouaL7d3hYBo/s400/HITitSOhard.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693947531374796962" border="0" /></a><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0aD6PT0WYYU/TwT6MLBM47I/AAAAAAAAAvI/OzCD6iignL4/s1600/SwordInStone_VHS.png"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 119px; height: 122px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-0aD6PT0WYYU/TwT6MLBM47I/AAAAAAAAAvI/OzCD6iignL4/s200/SwordInStone_VHS.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693950915926352818" border="0" /></a>If I was hard pressed to give you my all time favorite Disney movie from when I was a kid The S-word In The Stone is easily in my top three. So many things about this movie are about as epic as you would think. The one voice actor with the really really deep voice, Merlin constantly getting his beard stuck in some shit, Arthurian legend, saucy sugar boys! Shucks, when my pops would get out the old Betamax tape and offer to show us boys this movie we would cheer harder than the N64 kid on Christmas morning. So now that we're all grow'd up we're gonna drink some beer and watch this flick again.<br /><br />Step 1: Get a hold of Disney's S-word In The Stone<br />Step 2: ???<br /><div></div><br /><div><span style="font-size:130%;">Rules:</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">Drink Whenever the following is said or heard:</span></div><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3AmthFLXOaU/TwT5lIs2eiI/AAAAAAAAAu8/BgbwUS78ST8/s1600/The-Sword-in-the-Stone_WOLF.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3AmthFLXOaU/TwT5lIs2eiI/AAAAAAAAAu8/BgbwUS78ST8/s200/The-Sword-in-the-Stone_WOLF.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693950245289228834" border="0" /></a>Boy<br />Archimedes<br />Wart<br />S-word<br />Wizard<br />Magnificent Marvelous Mad Madam Mim (three)<br />Any derivation of Madam Mim including just Mim (once)<br />Merlin says "Hang it All" "Dash it all" or "Leave off"<br /><div><div>Woah what woah! (twice)<br /><div style="font-weight: bold;"><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KNBBGoeiJrA/TwT4oYIDHXI/AAAAAAAAAuk/8waoJdojNgs/s1600/sword2.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-KNBBGoeiJrA/TwT4oYIDHXI/AAAAAAAAAuk/8waoJdojNgs/s200/sword2.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693949201457814898" border="0" /></a>Drink Whenever the Following is seen:</div>The Wart looks high as hell<br />Wolf gets fucked over<br />Characters drink<br />Characters spill drink, be it tea or wine while toasting etc (twice)<br />The sugar boy is a git<br />The Wart is hit on the head<br />Merlin's Beard is a comedic element, gets caught on something, used as a broom, etc<br /></div><div><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-t2XHISJLUtA/TwT7pC1tBWI/AAAAAAAAAvU/jelEDxinCmo/s1600/DEMERITS.gif"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 166px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-t2XHISJLUtA/TwT7pC1tBWI/AAAAAAAAAvU/jelEDxinCmo/s200/DEMERITS.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693952511458477410" border="0" /></a><span style="font-weight: bold;">DEMERIT SYSTEM:</span><br />Throughout the film The Wart is issued demerits by his liege-lord. He has to spend time mucking and/or alternately demucking about in the kitchen for each demerit. Since you are more interested in drinking until you think you're a real squirrel boy you have to drink once for every demerit The Wart gets.<br /><br />(4) Demerits for hanging about in the woods with a creepy old man<br />(3) Demerits for being late<br />(3) Demerits for a fish story<br />(3) Demerits for mouthing off<br />(10) Demerits for popping off (serious business)<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SjrT43k6Ub8/TwT4OBOM0MI/AAAAAAAAAuY/uKs9aFSJD7E/s1600/SwordInStone_COCAINE.PNG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 364px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-SjrT43k6Ub8/TwT4OBOM0MI/AAAAAAAAAuY/uKs9aFSJD7E/s400/SwordInStone_COCAINE.PNG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693948748633002178" border="0" /></a><br /><div style="font-weight: bold;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qGM5zdhhHBg/TwT3hXsMDpI/AAAAAAAAAuA/6kZw6sxnqxk/s1600/swordinstone_PULL.png"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 180px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-qGM5zdhhHBg/TwT3hXsMDpI/AAAAAAAAAuA/6kZw6sxnqxk/s200/swordinstone_PULL.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693947981570248338" border="0" /></a>Finish Your Drink When:</div>Notice The Wart has no pants on (coloring error near beginning keep those eyes open!)<br />The Wart pulls the s-word from the stone (both times)<br /><br /></div><div><b>NIGHTMARE MODE:</b></div><div>Waterfall whenever Merlin casts a spell. Note: the songs count. Yea. NIGHTMARE MODE.<br /><div><br /></div><div><b>Final Thoughts:</b></div><div><br /></div><div>GRANT: This is some great stuff. I think the pacing is good, and after taking a second look through I did a bit of tweaking and adding double drinks etc. When I'm not drinking while I'm building a game I keep a tally of how many times each incident comes up and that is what I base the bulk of the final game on. There are so many tally marks by "boy" that it ran clear into another column and is crowding the notes about demerits. The film is a timeless classic, and to this day my brother and I still shout that one or the other is Pelenor (dash it all {from London}) and decry our news to be very big. </div><br /><div>BRANDY "B-TANS" TANNAHILL: No more trying drinking games with wine. It's just a bad idea. HUURRKKKK... This all started out with me just drinking on "Wart" and "Boy", but real talk, there's lots of boys in this movie (sexykinda). About halfway through it got as intense as a double rainbow. In the unlikely event that you don't have the time to dedicate to watching this cinematic masterpiece all the way through you should queue it up to when birdie Wart meets the evil she-wizard - then do shots every time you hear "mad, madam, or Mimm". It's like playing Monopoly Jr... it takes less time and gets you just as trashed.<br /><br /><br />Bonus: When I went to Disneyland as a wee lad I was coerced by a strange fellow dressed as a wizard to try to pull the sword from the stone. I did it (like a boss) and was rewarded with a photograph and a certificate and suchlike. My parents probably still have this. King of England, bitches.<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qAJa_hwJPqM/TwT45y8x_2I/AAAAAAAAAuw/TXuPZN3FR0M/s1600/S-word.png"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 388px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-qAJa_hwJPqM/TwT45y8x_2I/AAAAAAAAAuw/TXuPZN3FR0M/s400/S-word.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693949500716089186" border="0" /></a><br />-G<br /><br />P.S. BONUS: Here is B-Tans trying to pull the sword from the stone, but she can't cuz she's a girl and only boys get to be the King of ALL England. God wills it.<br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-emLfgm6CTcs/TwUAeFGsgDI/AAAAAAAAAvg/sjGlXDKK_BM/s1600/Brandy_NearAStone.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 191px; height: 400px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-emLfgm6CTcs/TwUAeFGsgDI/AAAAAAAAAvg/sjGlXDKK_BM/s400/Brandy_NearAStone.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5693957820646195250" border="0" /></a><br /></div></div></div>Granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-60555281818005995642011-12-21T08:00:00.000-08:002011-12-21T21:33:37.707-08:00You'll Turn 360° and Walk Away<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-w9Ypqq1BGrE/Tsl2tUbUwWI/AAAAAAAAAo8/OwbxJzj-MT8/s1600/HD_VIDYA_LARGE.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 349px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-w9Ypqq1BGrE/Tsl2tUbUwWI/AAAAAAAAAo8/OwbxJzj-MT8/s400/HD_VIDYA_LARGE.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5677199326226727266" border="0" /></a><br />I was so enthused after I re-read the incredible twofer I wrote a week ago that I decided we're doing Skyrim again. S'more. Only with 78% less "Arrow to the knee" jokes than the rest of the internet.<br /><br />I present to you the top 5 things I hate about Skyrim:<br /><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8SJDKbyIemg/TvKxbw7l7TI/AAAAAAAAAsE/q6P2I15podg/s1600/FIVE.PNG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 39px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-8SJDKbyIemg/TvKxbw7l7TI/AAAAAAAAAsE/q6P2I15podg/s200/FIVE.PNG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5688804369871793458" border="0" /></a><br /><li><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dbzaY3kqSCM/TvK9MXFmfrI/AAAAAAAAAtY/UdQV8hRgRM4/s1600/Skyrim%2BDragonborn%2BDragon%2BShout.png"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 183px; height: 108px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dbzaY3kqSCM/TvK9MXFmfrI/AAAAAAAAAtY/UdQV8hRgRM4/s200/Skyrim%2BDragonborn%2BDragon%2BShout.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5688817299375947442" border="0" /></a>After I logged around 150 game hours whenever I open up the directional menu with (B) it can take a variable amount of time for the down or left button (both on the d-pad and the analog stick) to actually function. Long enough to make me highly irritable (See picture at right). The same thing happens when I open up inventory menus whether it be looting bodies, chests, or my own sordid furniture in my house.</li><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-s1a9jhRsyWo/TvKxExWlMDI/AAAAAAAAArg/8Otzvk3LXC0/s1600/TWO.PNG"><br /></a><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AEubh3c-aKE/TvKxSqFDZcI/AAAAAAAAAr4/5hXmqSKaJCo/s1600/FOUR.PNG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 39px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-AEubh3c-aKE/TvKxSqFDZcI/AAAAAAAAAr4/5hXmqSKaJCo/s200/FOUR.PNG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5688804213413602754" border="0" /></a><br /><li><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-onofoS8BBcg/TvK10I-99tI/AAAAAAAAAsc/9BhZEk6BApw/s1600/Silly.png"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 146px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-onofoS8BBcg/TvK10I-99tI/AAAAAAAAAsc/9BhZEk6BApw/s200/Silly.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5688809186691774162" border="0" /></a>When placing loot in furniture that I own inside my house in Whiterun there is considerable lag when depositing individual items. Is this due to the large volume of stuff inside of a burlap sack under my bed or the cupboard by my door? Possibly, but why in this day and age when we have decades of computer science research into data structures can a company that makes GIANT games not have found a way to quickly and easily store data? I can only imagine that there are gremlins inside of my Xbox slowing down the spindle that turns my disc like some kind of burgeoning DJ who is attempting to scratch one of those doublesteppe records the kids like so much. I can't just throw everything I steal off the backs of the poor citizens into the moat, that would be just silly.</li><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1CaxsdV8epE/TvKxL2oyyuI/AAAAAAAAArs/_IoEn4uT_vM/s1600/THREE.PNG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 39px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-1CaxsdV8epE/TvKxL2oyyuI/AAAAAAAAArs/_IoEn4uT_vM/s200/THREE.PNG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5688804096525650658" border="0" /></a><br /><li><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2TJ5_ZNf-lE/TvK8X-b-chI/AAAAAAAAAtM/-kZ5NelmeeY/s1600/HALMUT.png"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 94px; height: 66px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-2TJ5_ZNf-lE/TvK8X-b-chI/AAAAAAAAAtM/-kZ5NelmeeY/s200/HALMUT.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5688816399405707794" border="0" /></a>That feeling when I'm pretty sure I have "Whirlwind Sprint" equipped and I accidentally Fus Ro Dah an entire village square. The same kind of crestfallen feeling when you accidentally steal something in the alchemy shop that is frowned upon, when the proprietor seems totally cool with you stealing anything worth less than 100 Septim.<br /></li><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZrpG14TaY-Y/TvKyT7I0vzI/AAAAAAAAAsQ/ibI2HSBRO6k/s1600/TWO.PNG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 39px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZrpG14TaY-Y/TvKyT7I0vzI/AAAAAAAAAsQ/ibI2HSBRO6k/s200/TWO.PNG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5688805334684319538" border="0" /></a><br /><li>Why can't I climb more shit? I'm a climber. I want to climb to the very top of everything I can find, and by Talos I'll do it! I once got a job at the now defunct (thank's EA) Pandemic Studios because I shared my love of climbing with the gal who interviewed me.<br /><br /><blockquote>"Tell me about how you play games, Grant," she said.<br /><br />"<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FX22icNhUSk/TvK_UGafe9I/AAAAAAAAAtk/-wuZqyJNe8k/s1600/Kinda_Like_This.png"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 146px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-FX22icNhUSk/TvK_UGafe9I/AAAAAAAAAtk/-wuZqyJNe8k/s200/Kinda_Like_This.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5688819631362374610" border="0" /></a>I climb. In Crash Bandicoot I would always try to run to the very edge of the on-rails style levels and jump onto something that just got me stuck in mid air. WWF: Smackdown: Here Comes the Pain I would construct ludicrous tottering towers built with tables upon tables upon ladders upon spanish announcer tables. I only cared about one thing when a new Smack Down came out: how many tables can I screw around with? My all time favorite game is Shadows of the Colossus, a game about if nothing else climbing." I shared.<br /><br />"You are perfect, we are going to hire you! Here, go play Saboteur and write some Bug Reports." the gal offered.</blockquote><br />And then EA shut down the company and I no longer had a job.</li><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fJuk1PniwVA/TvKw9OjHO4I/AAAAAAAAArU/rw2r2O-YHP8/s1600/ONE.PNG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 39px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-fJuk1PniwVA/TvKw9OjHO4I/AAAAAAAAArU/rw2r2O-YHP8/s200/ONE.PNG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5688803845246237570" border="0" /></a><br /><li> <span style="font-size:130%;"><span style="font-style: italic; font-weight: bold;">WHY WON'T THE FUCKING DRAGON LAND SO I CAN KILL IT!?!</span></span><br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rFQHpR9I0IQ/TvK4Hhq0hhI/AAAAAAAAAs0/f6y8r0FknHQ/s1600/FUCKING_LAND_DRAGON.png"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 400px; height: 398px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-rFQHpR9I0IQ/TvK4Hhq0hhI/AAAAAAAAAs0/f6y8r0FknHQ/s400/FUCKING_LAND_DRAGON.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5688811718758925842" border="0" /></a></li><br />But I really do like Skyrim and I have logged almost 200 in game hours. I'll keep playing til there's new Modern Warfare 3 content or I get fed up with finding cabbage inside of sacks laying on the floor of a dungeon that no one has set foot inside of for hundreds of years.<br /><br />-GGranthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-12966468698248127182011-12-20T08:00:00.000-08:002011-12-20T08:00:05.563-08:00Twofer Tuesday<span style="font-weight:bold;">Fus Ro Dan!~</span> Today's twofer is about something very dear to my heart. I was a big fan of Elder Scrolls IV: Morrowind having logged quite a bit of time with my twin's help, and the sequel is no exception. Having just witnessed Skyrim win Game of The Year at Spike Tv's Video Game Awards (Yea, I was working at it and I met Charlie Sheen and saw Stifler and Deadmau5 and all sorts of cool dudes - including but not limited to Hideo Kojima and his Hiro Nakamura-esque pal and Shigeru Miyamoto. This {while a bit more interesting} is unfortunately a tale for another time.) I decided today is all about Skyrim baby.<br /><br /><center><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/ozbJ_sUu9bI?rel=0" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="284" width="500"></iframe></center><br /><br />Occasionally you bump into glitches and bugs, especially in a game as large as Skyrim. Bethesda I'm not mad at ya, I've only gotten stuck in the geometry like 8 times and had my game crash at the load screen like 5. On this particular occasion the texture for the dragon I was battling only sorta loaded. I quickly got out my camera and began to record it for posterity, but as soon as I killed it everything became pretty again. So ends another exciting dragon battle in the cold and brutal land of Skyrim.<br /><br /><center><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/gFy6TJ3dzq0?rel=0" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="284" width="500"></iframe></center><br /><br />I just got the Block skill to 100 and I decided I'd toast exactly how high ones levels are at 65. I'm a bad bad man. Really this video is just an internets dick-measuring contest. And yes, mine is the biggest.<br /><br />Thanks for tuning in to this weeks twofer. What's in the future? A holiday themed rap song? New Years Resolutions? TK's Birthday? Trying to convince Dan to buy us a laser that is too powerful for any reasonable consumer application? All this and more (maybe)!<br /><br />-G<br /><br />Bonus: Have you read TK's blog about Kate from Lost? We were having a few pints last night and he started saying much of what you can now read and it was so funny that we did it live and he wrote it. <a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2011/12/open-letter-to-actress-who-played-kate.html">You should probably read it again</a>.<br /><br /><a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2011/12/open-letter-to-actress-who-played-kate.html"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 563px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-7uaqw9Lr-Qo/TuWKEdNCfjI/AAAAAAAAAqc/zAUqwlBjXUc/s400/1322438722972.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5685101913788546610" border="0" /></a>Granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-33813848079980238272011-12-10T00:23:00.000-08:002011-12-10T00:41:17.645-08:00An Open Letter to the Actress who Played Kate on Lost:<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NjdP-vJKC60/TuMXfJLYZ9I/AAAAAAAAAe4/0NuZU5JRugQ/s1600/WINNER_IMGP0007.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 374px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NjdP-vJKC60/TuMXfJLYZ9I/AAAAAAAAAe4/0NuZU5JRugQ/s400/WINNER_IMGP0007.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5684412978478737362" border="0" /></a>TK writes:<br /><br />Actress who played Kate on Lost, I love you. Lets get for real married. I don't know if you're married in real life or not, because I'm afraid to Google you, cause I'm afraid you might be married.<br /><br />Actress who played Kate on Lost, I know you spent a lot of time in Oahu during production of the show, but I could totally take you to a bunch of awesome spots. I like <a href="http://shirossaimin.com/restaurant-menu/saimin/">Shiro's in Pearl City, they have great saimin</a>.<br /><br />Actress who played Kate on Lost, I'm a pretty good cook, and also good at sex. I suppose it would be unfair to ask you to accept these claims on faith, therefore I am willing to prove myself. I mean if you want.<br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QeBRWDbwAE8/TuMY2hMiI2I/AAAAAAAAAfE/9AxkQj5G4T4/s1600/kate_lost.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 317px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-QeBRWDbwAE8/TuMY2hMiI2I/AAAAAAAAAfE/9AxkQj5G4T4/s400/kate_lost.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5684414479574639458" border="0" /></a><br />Actress who played Kate on Lost, how are you so pretty? OMG you're so pretty. OMG stop flirting with me.<br /><br />Actress who played Kate on Lost, I know I'm a little late to the "Lost" bandwagon, but please do not hold that against me. <3<br /><br />Actress who played Kate on Lost, my roommate said that some of the actors on the show got DUIs during production, and that ABC reacted by killing their characters off prematurely. I'm glad that you didn't get a DUI because then you wouldn't be on the show as much and your perfect face wouldn't get beamed into my living room via Netflix.<br /><br /><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-D6bFloQzKW4/TuMZXYyZRBI/AAAAAAAAAfc/JDYsvqTnb04/s1600/losttvposter102.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 160px; height: 200px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-D6bFloQzKW4/TuMZXYyZRBI/AAAAAAAAAfc/JDYsvqTnb04/s200/losttvposter102.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5684415044253205522" border="0" /></a>Actress who played Kate on Lost, I painted my car army green with military stencil lettering on the side. It's so rad I wanna show it to you. You'll love it.<br /><br />Actress who played Kate on Lost, you lived in Hawaii when you were shooting Lost. I'm Hawaiian! OMG we have so much in common.<br /><br />Actress who played Kate on Lost, I just watched episode 301 and actor who played Sawyer gave you a fish biscuit. I would give you like 5 fish biscuits, real talk.<br /><br />Actress who played Kate on Lost, I work out a lot and I'm pretty handsome.<br /><br />Do you like me?<br /><ul><li>YES ( ) </li><li>NO ( ) </li><li>MAYBE ( )</li></ul><br /><br /><center><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/IaRlQTn31DM?rel=0" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="369" width="500"></iframe></center>HotDamnTVhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12839342370002253742noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-87034843753977509972011-11-20T08:00:00.000-08:002011-11-20T14:52:19.718-08:00You'll Turn 360° and Walk Away<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-w9Ypqq1BGrE/Tsl2tUbUwWI/AAAAAAAAAo8/OwbxJzj-MT8/s1600/HD_VIDYA_LARGE.JPG"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 349px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-w9Ypqq1BGrE/Tsl2tUbUwWI/AAAAAAAAAo8/OwbxJzj-MT8/s400/HD_VIDYA_LARGE.JPG" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5677199326226727266" border="0" /></a><br /><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wPvcOGSKgCI/Tsl029uQEDI/AAAAAAAAAow/IlM4XnzV3tA/s1600/skyrim_lol.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 150px; height: 200px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-wPvcOGSKgCI/Tsl029uQEDI/AAAAAAAAAow/IlM4XnzV3tA/s200/skyrim_lol.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5677197292907532338" border="0" /></a>A lot has been happening lately guys and lady-guys. The gang and I have been working a bit and writing a bit less and shooting even less. Why is this? Is it the economy? The 1%? My father's lingering suspicions about my sexual orientation? Nay, the answer is much simpler. Two words:<br /><blockquote><span style="font-weight: bold;">Skyrim</span> and <span style="font-weight: bold;">Modernwarfarethree</span>.</blockquote>Between the two of those games it is a wonder that the entire United States hasn't ground to a halt. (Fun Fact: in Japan whenever they release a new Dragon Quest game its pretty much a national holiday the next day because everyone would call in sick anyway) But you might be one (percent) of the unlucky ones who has very little money or hates America and doesn't want to play some delicious brand new software. How then will you be able to boast of your digital conquests amongst patriots and dragonborn when you are stuck with nothing but the vidya games of yesteryear? The answer is to play Nuketown. Stick with me here.<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TgkKpdwv9AU/Tsl4Hh2BT3I/AAAAAAAAApI/LIFBdEANVRw/s1600/nuketown_splash.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 189px; height: 134px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-TgkKpdwv9AU/Tsl4Hh2BT3I/AAAAAAAAApI/LIFBdEANVRw/s320/nuketown_splash.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5677200876016586610" border="0" /></a>Multiplayer is fun sure, but you need to up the ante. As a sporting man you need a challenge that will make your mates take note and perhaps even pause to consider breaking out their copy to see if they're <a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ZmX9_Co3qc0/Tsl-hpLdpzI/AAAAAAAAAps/BxtPTsuKikQ/s1600/baddudes.gif">bad enough dudes</a>. TK and I came up with this (to be fair I'm not sure who deserves more credit because we were drinking at the time) a little bit before MW3 dropped as a way to kill some time. The rules are as follows:<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-aU6K6f9MYzY/Tsl_Q5xsUSI/AAAAAAAAAp4/1ljXadXMRe8/s1600/vital_statistix.jpg"><img style="float: left; margin: 0pt 10px 10px 0pt; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 104px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-aU6K6f9MYzY/Tsl_Q5xsUSI/AAAAAAAAAp4/1ljXadXMRe8/s200/vital_statistix.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5677208733641101602" border="0" /></a>Pop in your copy of Carl of Duty: Black Cops. Go to Multiplayer-Local-Split Screen- and set up a map at Nuketown. Set the time limit to 15 minutes, the score to 30,000 points, and enemy robot to quantity 9 and difficulty to recruit. This is part of the fun because its like playing with zombies that don't try to bite you and take something like two minutes to draw a bead on you. Recruit difficulty makes them unable to tie their shoes, its a wonder they can still get the rifle pointed the right way. As far as perks,weapons, equipment and killstreaks: anything goes. Do what you have to do to get the job done marine.<br /><br /><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-S2tub57wWRI/TsmEEXVgP9I/AAAAAAAAAqQ/6duoxrFDYls/s1600/Consider_The_Lilly.jpg"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 113px;" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-S2tub57wWRI/TsmEEXVgP9I/AAAAAAAAAqQ/6duoxrFDYls/s200/Consider_The_Lilly.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5677214015795773394" border="0" /></a>It is a lot of fun, somewhat difficult to get done and just challenging enough to make you wanna keep playing. The fun doesn't have to stop there though, make up your own variation! How many kills can you get with crossbows in 15 minutes (not 300, that shit is impossible), how many knife kills, the gun of your father only, shotgun only, the world is your oyster.<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VMfnQ7-5yws/TsmASAVvJ2I/AAAAAAAAAqE/CXwvV7YV-sM/s1600/PROOF.jpg"><img style="display: block; margin: 0px auto 10px; text-align: center; cursor: pointer; width: 500px; height: 374px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-VMfnQ7-5yws/TsmASAVvJ2I/AAAAAAAAAqE/CXwvV7YV-sM/s400/PROOF.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5677209852094392162" border="0" /></a><br />While you're busy doing that, I'm going to go back to crawling dungeons in Skyrim and defending your freedom in MW3. That's it for now, stay tuned for some exciting new content (I swear).<br /><br />-GGranthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-90572893673548416762011-11-02T07:00:00.000-07:002011-11-02T15:59:39.264-07:00sim·i·lar<center><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-eNZ5FBnzEtU/TrG0bua1TpI/AAAAAAAAAnI/R8VZKwZ-nLI/s1600/similar.png"><img src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-eNZ5FBnzEtU/TrG0bua1TpI/AAAAAAAAAnI/R8VZKwZ-nLI/s1600/similar.png" border="0" width="500" /></a></center><br /><br />I've been thinking about writing a few articles about this for a while now. Here goes part one of an on going series on movies that are awfully similar. Was one studio just too lazy to think up an original idea? Is there some "inspired by" going on? Is America just ready for two movies about Victorian era magicians? The people cry out, and its for two movies about trains.<br /><br /><center><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mckX_Y2DYtk/TrG3D2zObXI/AAAAAAAAAnU/oCjpcDwSGwk/s1600/monstersNtrolls.png"><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mckX_Y2DYtk/TrG3D2zObXI/AAAAAAAAAnU/oCjpcDwSGwk/s1600/monstersNtrolls.png" border="0" width="500" /></a></center><br /><br />Monsters and Troll Hunter (English title, LØL) are two pretty fresh movies. Both are shot with a very low budget (Troll Hunter being the higher of the two, but still very small relative to bigger movies.) and filmed in a way that uses very unsteady Cloverfield flavored camera work, with the digitally inserted critters as the star of the film. In Monsters this is simply because of the guerrilla style shooting they did with little to no crew or permission, and in Troll Hunter we are watching "found footage" from a Norwegian community college film crew who decided to bother some poor man who murders trolls for a living (I find the whole found footage genre very insulting, much like Firespinners and Dub Step, but I digress..).<br /><br />Let's take a look at some stats:<br /><br /><a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--k899I_4zBg/TrG8LuvlWJI/AAAAAAAAAng/582v6bMxa6E/s1600/trollhunter01.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 167px;" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/--k899I_4zBg/TrG8LuvlWJI/AAAAAAAAAng/582v6bMxa6E/s200/trollhunter01.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5670520315548358802" border="0" /></a>"Troll Hunter":<br />Budget: NOK 19,900,000(around 3.5 million USD)<br />Release Date: October 2010<br />CGI Monsters: Trolls. Lots of 'em. Big fuckers too.<br />Plot: Follow around some guy while he tries to kill or avoid trolls.<br />Rotten Tomatoes: 82%<br />Longest Name in Credits: Torunn Lødemel Stokkeland - Hilde, veterinär<br />Trailer:<br /><br /><center><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/r9dgeYkYOZA?rel=0" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="284" width="500"></iframe></center><br /><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NJ6pDMxkM3U/TrHG-vfMSzI/AAAAAAAAAn4/4nMHHylK74A/s1600/monsters1.jpg"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 111px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-NJ6pDMxkM3U/TrHG-vfMSzI/AAAAAAAAAn4/4nMHHylK74A/s200/monsters1.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5670532187037649714" border="0" /></a>"Monsters":<br />Budget: $800,000<br />Release Date: October 2010<br />CGI Monsters: All sorts of scary alien creatures. Big fuckers too.<br />Plot: Follow around some dumb girl through Mexico back to USA while killing or avoiding aliens.<br />Rotten Tomatoes: 71%<br />Longest Name in Credits: Kenia Guadalupe Dominluez Yamas - Little Girl in Pick-Up Truck<br />Trailer:<br /><br /><center><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/QmR-l3y_coo?rel=0" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="284" width="500"></iframe><br /></center><br /><br />Both movies are very cool and worth a watch. I learned about Troll Hunter from a painter who worked on Top Chef with me (shout out to my boy Bean) in Texas and I thought he was kidding. <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-J8Pe1Bh4Mw4/TrHKlNwufjI/AAAAAAAAAoE/JmzCCsaIF_8/s1600/trollface.png"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 200px; height: 150px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-J8Pe1Bh4Mw4/TrHKlNwufjI/AAAAAAAAAoE/JmzCCsaIF_8/s200/trollface.png" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5670536146534170162" border="0" /></a>He replied "Nay, verily it is a thing." and asked if I had ever seen Monsters because he felt that it had a similar stylistic approach. Monsters is not only a cool giant creature flick, but it combines subtle unertones of political commentary and relationship drama to make it not just an exploitative "Lookit the creature" type deal but a film with some real substance. Troll Hunter (pic on right related, it is a troll) takes the rather formulaic "found footage" genre and does it the way it should be done. You could compare Apollo 18 (neat) to Cloverfield (meh) as an example.<br /><br />-G<br /><br />BONUS: Have you guys seen our <a href="http://hotdamntv.com/#%21youtube7Kf13wliIuQ">new vidya</a>? We made it the other day. Shit is very fresh. Also we filmed it on Ryan Neal's SLR camera. Holy-depth-of-field-Batman.Granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-30546830265306815672011-11-01T07:00:00.000-07:002011-11-01T07:00:12.017-07:00Twofer TuesdayThis one is almost too easy. I spent <s>hours</s> a few minutes pouring over the HotDamn archives to make sure we've never covered this meme. This one is serious you guys. Like Leeroy Jenkins and Nintendo 64 Kid serious.<br /><br /><iframe width="500" height="369" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/60og9gwKh1o?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe><br /><br />This one is the grandpappy of them all. What song is he enjoying the fuck out of? What language is that? Urdu? Farsi? That Africa-language with all the clicking and shit? I'm not even sure but it is incredible. This video spawned zillions of imitations and tribute vidyas, each one more delicious than the last.<br /><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/MZ3lXZT7PFY?rel=0" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="311" width="500"></iframe><br /><br />It took months of planning and countless hours of hard work (read: playing Call Of Duty: Black Cops) to decide what the perfect companion video for the original was. The trololol guy got a similar treatment on some kind of Danish variety show (pretty awesome in and of themselves) where they upped the ante and did the song REAL big. Big like Guns 'N Roses with a full orchestra. Big like Meatloaf big. I dunno what this is from but its the Numa Numa song performed in an operatic style. It is good , oh yes, it is good.<br /><br />-GGranthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-36091879183388671472011-10-26T07:00:00.000-07:002011-10-28T19:30:07.412-07:00EntertainMENt<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5c6Irn1rBFs/TqpFZwZaeiI/AAAAAAAAAhc/HO3AB41lAWI/s1600/Amadeusmov.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img style="float:right; margin:0 0 10px 10px;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 232px; height: 350px;" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5c6Irn1rBFs/TqpFZwZaeiI/AAAAAAAAAhc/HO3AB41lAWI/s400/Amadeusmov.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5668419389789731362" /></a>After days and days of failed attempts to fight the boys away from the TV, I finally acquired it as Grant was passed out and TK was out of town. Let us bask in the glory of silence for awhile...<br /><br />... ah yes... no angry reports of gunfire from our speakers from Call of Duty: Black Ops... no awful AWFUL B movies Grant found on Netflix about dark carnivals and/or Kung Fu and suchlike. A moment to myself. Now I get to do girl things...<br /><br />Who am I kidding, I'm not very good at being a girl. I didn't watch a chick flick, or invite the ladies over. PSSH No way. I was supposed to be at work... that work being an extra gig in which I am at a bachelorette party looking shocked and awed at my girl the bachelorette's wild and crazy behavior. Yes, I found it on craigslist. Yes, it's for a porn. And yes... I chickened out. But only because I wasn't able to get ahold of my dad in time to ask him how ashamed he would be of his depraved daughter's behavior getting facetime in a porn. But that ship has sailed, and now here I am, luxuriating around the apartment and applying for jobs to fill that void of the would be $140 of ill gotten sustenance.<br /><br />AND THUS will I resume my routine - put on a movie, fire up job search engines and craigslist on my laptop (Grant, it's a <a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2011/09/best-cook-only-sweets-season-2.html">macbook PRO</a> thank you. Quit hating.) and try once again to be a grown up.<br /><br />THIS MORNING'S MOVIE IS...<br />(haha morning? I woke up at 1PM)<br /><br />"Amadeus"<br /><br />It's old and it's mainstream, so I'm probably boring you but get over it because I have a huge hard on for this movie. Here's a few reasons:<br /><br />It won 8 Oscars in 1984, including Best Picture. (Not a big deal) and Film composer John Strauss won a Grammy for producing the soundtrack.<br /><br />It's silly!<br /><br />Dudes dressed up as birdies singing an opera:<div><br /><center><iframe width="500" height="369" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/3rE7dXws5vk?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></center><br /><br />Mozart's redonkulous laugh:</div><div><br /><center><iframe width="500" height="369" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/rjmmjXGwarU?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></center><br /><br />The characters are very compelling and the acting is spot on. The story is about Mozart and what a complete asshole he is while he dominates the Vienese (and thereby "world" - that is - european) music scene. BONUS: It also follows the vengeful and jealous story of his contemporary Antonio Salieri, which is very moving and dramatic:<br /><br /><center><iframe width="500" height="284" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/QCnOx4lmnbg?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></center><br /><br /><br />I am a big European history nerd, so I geek out like crazy over this. Here's some neat stuff to keep in mind as you dedicate 2 hours and 40 minutes to the director's cut. DO IT ANYWAY, don't puss out because of big numbers.<br /><br />IRL - Mozart's requiem was never finished, he died before it could be completed. The music had someone else's handwriting on the several pages leading up to when it stopped.<br /><br />"Requiem" was commissioned anonymously - it was later discovered to be commissioned by an Austrian aristocrat, Count Walsegg, who had an established pattern of paying well for anonymous works from composers and taking credit for them.<br /><br />In the period leading up to Mozart's death, he became very ill and whilst working on Requiem was quite convinced that he was poisoned.<br /><br />Salieri and Mozart were known rivals. Mozart has several correspondences with friends in which he indicates Salieri may be up to something nefarious.<br /><br />Salieri was committed to a mental institution for dementia.<br /><br />Habsburg Holy Roman Emperor Joseph II was known for being a patron of the arts, but with little knowledge of music. Jeffrey Jones' portrayal of him and his scripting is perfect.</div><div><br /></div><div>Note: Most of these infos are paraphrasings from me having watched the featurette documentary from the Director's Cut DVD, internet investigationry on Wikipedia and it's sources (<i>some</i> people click them) and me being smart and shit. Yeah, I took the AP Euro test and got a 4 without taking the class - NOT A BIG DEAL. I'm not a grown up though, so I'm not gonna spend the time finding the sources again to cite them after Grant closed my shit while I was working.<br /><br /><br />-B-Tans<br /><br />Grant writes:<br /><br />Couldn't let Brandy have the last word chums. You were probably thinking to yourself "Self, we finally made it through a hotdams toasting that wasn't about Insane Clown Posse! Neat! Theres no way Grant or anyone else for that matter can figure a way to tie ICP and Mozart together." But wait, there's more:<br /><br /><center><iframe width="500" height="284" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/OyzjVL5tFn0?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></center><br /><br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-dBQ1phqTCoc/TqpLzbXSUrI/AAAAAAAAAho/QixXEGN_C-s/s200/icp-jack-white.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5668426427890029234" style="float: right; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 200px; height: 186px; " /></span>ICP and Jack White (yea, that Jack White from the White Stripes) recently collaborated on a song entitled "Leck Mich Im Arsch". The melody for the song was written by Mozart back in 1776 or some shit, and then a few million years later Jack White did some producering to it and then ICP laid down some words on top of it. Its not a big deal. ICP sold the track on vinyl for a limited time on their website. Stranger than fiction. Mozart bitches.<div><div><br /></div><div>-G</div></div></div>Granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-62791983407390136282011-10-22T01:15:00.000-07:002011-10-22T01:47:24.103-07:00Even More Pictures of Clowns Juggalos and Soda Pop!For your viewing pleasure please feel free to browse all 225 pictures that made the final cut from our shoot at Insane Clown Posse's American Psycho Tour:<br /><center><br /><iframe class="imgur-album" src="http://imgur.com/a/i0dPC/embed" frameborder="0" height="550" width="500"></iframe></center><br /><br />Don't forget guys the tour still has a few dates left! Also this just in straight from Psychopathic Records:<br /><br /><blockquote><a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://www.psychopathiclive.com/"><img style="float: right; margin: 0pt 0pt 10px 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 227px; height: 320px;" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ZJ6wjMiJQ7A/TqKAtchGAJI/AAAAAAAAAgE/3OLOHKG8rfw/s320/Hallowicked2011.jpg" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5666232799422972050" border="0" /></a>ICP has been celebrating Halloween night for the past 17 years by throwing a massive party in Detroit called Hallowicked. This coming October 31st marks the duo’s 18th Annual Hallowicked show, which promises to be super exciting with performances by ICP and their label mates Twiztid and Blaze Ya Dead Homie. Dancing Zombies + Insane Clowns + Musical Horror Stories Rapped Over Catchy Beats + Face Painted Juggalos Covered in Faygo + Most Entertaining Event on Halloween night = HALLOWICKED!!!!<br /><br />Hallowicked will take place at the Fillmore. The official Hallowicked after party will immediately follow at St. Andrews Hall, which will feature JCW matches and a performance by Wolfpac. We regard Hallowicked as a national event, as Juggalos from all over the US and Canada are always in attendance. This year we’re making Hallowicked available for Juggalos and media world wide! So, if you are not able to attend due to location the show will be broadcasted live via internet pay-per-view at <a href="http://www.psychopathiclive.com">www.psychopathiclive.com</a>.</blockquote><br />-GGranthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-57305005417523969432011-10-18T07:00:00.000-07:002011-10-18T07:00:14.098-07:00Twofer TuesdayThis week the two-fur comes to us from the loftiest heights of the interbutts. One was a leftover from the twofer grab bag (where I save videos I've found myself or I've forgotten whom I stole them from) and the other was foisted upon me by none other than Dan Beam (the guy who is going to buy me and TK a laser that costs like $1,000.00 because he loves us).<br /><br /><center><br /><iframe src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/LJP1DphOWPs" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="284" width="500"></iframe><br /></center><br /><br />Bad commercials are incredible. The first sentence under the next video is going to say the same damn thing. Now a days people seem to be trying to make their videos bad intentionally to gain a bit of intertube celebrity. But from one E-Personality to another I must tell you a secret: There is no money on the internets. Sort of like girls, just not there. Also real talk we're going to go visit this guy and try to figure out why he won't taxidermize pets.<br /><br /><center><br /><iframe title="YouTube video player" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/jZRLLy00E0A?rel=0" allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="405" width="500"></iframe><br /></center><br /><br />Bad commercials are incredible. This commercial is totally fake and not even a thing but it is still pretty awesome. If I only owned a VCR I would call this number and try to turn it into cash. I love the internet.<br /><br />-G<br /><br />BONUS: The laser Dan is going to buy for us.<br /><br /><center><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IXktT8lZNO4/Tpqn1CB4S-I/AAAAAAAAAd4/eHHkMGrZZa8/s1600/dan%2Bbuy%2Bus%2Bthis.jpg"><img src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IXktT8lZNO4/Tpqn1CB4S-I/AAAAAAAAAd4/eHHkMGrZZa8/s400/dan%2Bbuy%2Bus%2Bthis.jpg" border="0" width="500"/></a></center>Granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-51022860271089363632011-10-15T07:00:00.000-07:002011-10-15T07:00:05.117-07:00Drinking Game: Sunshine<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-u3nkGrpCOO8/TpQLWKWtpxI/AAAAAAAAAdA/fCTmTJXlrB4/s1600/Capa.jpg" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"></a><br /><center><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kT4clJgsN7Q/TpQICxaQkzI/AAAAAAAAAc0/NP5l6twoECA/s1600/JUICE_reallyyoucouldntthinkofajoke.jpg"><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-kT4clJgsN7Q/TpQICxaQkzI/AAAAAAAAAc0/NP5l6twoECA/s400/JUICE_reallyyoucouldntthinkofajoke.jpg" border="0" width="500" /></a></center><br />Real talk, Sunshine is easily one of my and TK's favorite films. Danny Boyle is a master of the post/near apocalyptic genre. Also for an added bonus, the soundtrack is incredible and has been featured in motion pictures and television recently (Kick Ass for one). Everything is fundamentally awesome. Get some beer and peel your peepers cuz this is one hell of a movie.<br /><br /><div>Step 1: Get a hold of Sunshine (holy shit the BLU-Ray is prettty)</div>Step 2: ???<br /><div></div><br /><div><span style="font-size:130%;">Rules:</span><br /><span style="font-weight: bold; ">Drink Whenever the following is said or heard:</span></div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-u3nkGrpCOO8/TpQLWKWtpxI/AAAAAAAAAdA/fCTmTJXlrB4/s320/Capa.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5662163106876204818" style="float: right; margin-top: 0px; margin-right: 0px; margin-bottom: 10px; margin-left: 10px; cursor: pointer; width: 320px; height: 316px; " /></span>Capa<div>Sun</div><div>Icarus</div><div>Units of time (14 hours, 10 seconds, 8 minutes anything with a number and a unit)</div><div>Payload<br /><div><br /><div style="font-weight: bold; ">Drink Whenever the Following is seen:</div>Sun</div><div>Killian Murphy Sulks</div><div>"Icarus"</div><div>A crew member dies</div><div>Someone drinks</div><div>Flash frames of other crew members</div><div><br /></div><div><b>NIGHTMARE MODE:</b></div><div>Waterfall whenever Pinbacker vision happens (that trippy wax on lens, double camera shit that happens whenever Pinbacker is on screen)</div><div><br /><div style="font-weight: bold; ">Finish Your Drink When:</div><div>One of the Icarus II's crew dies</div><div><br /></div><div><b>Final Thoughts:</b></div><div><br /></div><div>RYAN NEAL: </div><div>My favorite part was when those two guys were totally gay. You know. Those two guys kept giving each other looks. You know. The Captain and Capa. They totally had something going on. Shit was obvious. The movie was great. The game was drunk. And.. if you're looking to watch a good movie and enjoy a good beer... The rules were very good. Aaah... Ya know. I got too drunk to think of anything actually appropriately funny. I think that you would get drunk and enjoy a great fucking movie at the same time. The rules get you thinking that male characters had sex with other characters. Maybe they did. Maybe they didnt. There were too many Capas. The Sun was making eyes at everyone. Capa and Mace were definitely fucking.</div><div><br /></div><div>BRANDY "B-TANS" TANNAHILL:</div><div>Don't try this with wine HHGGGGNNN... It was difficult to keep track of things at the beginning, but it made sense at the end, which is not typically how it works. That ho should not be so mopey (Rose Burne), that made me mad. The guys should have operated the switch with the suit on and then floated over, but that did not happen so I was mad (referring to when Icarus I gets cut off from Icarus II and there is only one space suit). Excellent movie, Excellent game, not a good idea to play the game the first time you see it.</div><div><br /></div><div>TK:</div><div>Its one of those drinking games where a few rules give you consistent drinks. Almost too much though, almost on par with the Conan drinking game. However being one of the best films ever made I willl Allow it. Also I am drunk. And Rose Burne is the sexiest female alive.</div><div><br /></div><div>GRANT:</div><div>Ryan Neal is so high. This is easily the best movie ever made. The drinking game was good. I can't believe TK and I have watched this movie so many times and this is the first time we've actually put pen to paper and made the game. Feels great though. Try NIGHTMARE MODE for an added challenge!</div></div></div><div><br /></div><div>There was some kind of huge hullabaloo with the soundtrack. Apparently they never copyrighted it or only one of the guys from the composing team did or whatever. But they never really released an official soundtrack apart from an iTunes release. Anyway, listen to some of the delicious music:</div><div><br /></div><iframe width="500" height="369" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/hYMseN4XzxI?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe><div><br /></div><div>BONUS: Every other time we've watched it we just drank until we couldn't feel feelings, which is always a great way to appreciate some mother f'ing cinema. :3</div><div><br /></div><div>-G</div>Granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7397306036593186308.post-55203538795157008902011-10-14T16:56:00.000-07:002011-10-14T17:19:35.236-07:00More Stuff about ICP!<center><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GYi1iw_-TkI/TpjRSvRLANI/AAAAAAAAAds/HwwMFWWmw04/s1600/IMG_2711F.png" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-GYi1iw_-TkI/TpjRSvRLANI/AAAAAAAAAds/HwwMFWWmw04/s400/IMG_2711F.png" border="0" width="500" /></a></center><br /><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Da4KBLSKYiQ/TpjNLwfc1oI/AAAAAAAAAdg/95UJRXpYiM0/s1600/BRANDY_PSYCHOPATHIC.png" onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}"></a>So we were at the ICP show at The Grove <a href="http://hotdamntv.blogspot.com/2011/10/show-must-go-on.html">last weekend</a>, doin all sorts of science. Psychopathic Records was shooting a music video, here read their description:<div><blockquote>"...with no preparation, no budget, and no planning they shot a music video on the fly to go along with the track at the venue in LA! In addition to ICP, Twiztid, Blaze, and Big Hutch the music video features cameos by some of Psychopathic’s homies who had randomly stopped by to say hello at the LA gig. This includes Johnny Richter of the Kottonmouth Kings, Ron Jeremy, and Dennis White of Charm Farm AKA Static Revenger. But really, the biggest stars of the video are easily the Juggalos..."</blockquote><blockquote>-<a href="http://www.insaneclownposse.com/icp2010/?p=2828">InsaneClownPosse.com</a></blockquote>Sounds pretty serious, I know. There is one thing they forgot though, Brandy is totally in this music video. Stand by for her worldwide debut as featured talent:</div><div><br /></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color: rgb(0, 0, 238); -webkit-text-decorations-in-effect: underline; "><center><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Da4KBLSKYiQ/TpjNLwfc1oI/AAAAAAAAAdg/95UJRXpYiM0/s1600/BRANDY_PSYCHOPATHIC.png"><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Da4KBLSKYiQ/TpjNLwfc1oI/AAAAAAAAAdg/95UJRXpYiM0/s400/BRANDY_PSYCHOPATHIC.png" border="0" width="500" /></a></center></span></div><div><span class="Apple-style-span" style="color:#0000EE;"><br /></span></div>-G<br /><br />BONUS: Check out the video!<br /><center><br /><iframe width="500" height="284" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/-cSJ1CAqFws?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen=""></iframe></center>Granthttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08636498003104862914noreply@blogger.com0