Drinking Game: Obama Speech

TK writes:

It's been WAY too long since I've posted a drinking game, and my good friend Chris Allison at Toonhole.com sent me a very unorthodox one, so I figured i should post it. Ladies and gentlemen, The State of the Union Drinking Game!!!!1 I believe Obama is making a speech tonight, so go out and get some beers NOW. Thanks Chris!

Chris Allison plays drinking games with vodka. That's what a man looks like.

O CAPTAIN, MY CAPTAIN

Back on September 18 2009, most of HotDamnTV (and our friend Matt Holland, whose birthday it was) were lucky enough to see a live taping of The Tonight Show during Conan's brief stint as host. You can see our Tonight Show trip by clicking here.

And here's TK booty calling the girl he exchanged insurance information with, after his car accident on the way to The Tonight Show taping:

Andrew Jackson Jihad!!!!!1!

TK writes:
I was lucky enough to catch the very last show of Andrew Jackson Jihad's current tour on Sunday night. For those of you savages who don't know about A.J.J., you can watch the whole concert by clicking here. Enjoy!

Me high-fiving Sean Bonnette. Bitches don't know.

Humanity Festival 2010

TK writes:
To everyone who attended the Humanity Festival rave at the Riverside Convention Center on Saturday January 16th, I would like to apologize. As you all know, the event was shut down early, in the middle of Starkillers' set. This is entirely my fault. Hopefully this video will help explain how I was caught up in the middle of all this. lolololololol
Here's a video of my little brother enjoying the benefits of rolling VIP. (Get it? Rolling VIP? You see what I did there?)

lol racism

TK writes:
I was an art major and only took one math class for all of college, so I'm not entirely sure how racist this is. I'm assuming it's only moderately racist, but if you're a math major and you know what it says, and if it turns out to be like HELLA racist, let me know and I'll take it down. Also we have a new video about historical infections here, and we'll be posting an infomercial for "Egg Yolk in a Jar" soon. In closing, here's a funny picture.

Perpetual Motion

Grant ensorcels:

Me and the fellas at Cold Blessed Radio Program have always been hard at work turning the finest hobby of the dark ages (alchemy) into progress (science?). One day I woke up at 9am and hopped in the shower with a delicious alcoholic beverage and pondered the mysteries of the universe. I came up with.. this:



Next week's exciting episode: 'Topher AngryCanine Madero performs open heart surgery on TK ~ blindfolded! Also we work hard to turn gold back into lead. Gold futures be damned!

lolwut

TK writes:
Found another random-as-fuck video in the archives. This one explains a little about the birthday monster, who he is, and where he came from.

HotDamnTV's Friend: Toonhole.com

TK writes:
Do you like cartoons and comics? Of course you do, unless you're racist. That's why we're pleased to announce a new website by Chris Allison: Toonhole! Chris A. is one of our favorite friends with benefits, he's worked with the likes of Brendon Small and Nickelodeon. (He's the guy in our New Year's video who resolves to drink less whiskey.) He's a very funny chap who isn't afraid to make pedophile jokes, and he and his team will be putting out funny stuff three times a week.
tl;dr Check out Toonhole.com!

HotDamnTV Goes Vegan

OMG 2010

TK writes:
Before I REALLY get into this blog, I should point out that I made a New Year's Resolution video for you here. Okay. On to the coolest blog post this year!

So last night I accidentally the entire keg, and I got to thinking: "It's 2010, where's all the flying cars / invisibility / laser guns, etc?" But then I realized ITS ALREADY HAPPENING OMG THE FUTURE IS NOW
I will now make a bullet list of all the really awesome things science has done in recent years, with references to popular sci-fi movies / TV shows / books to help you understand.
1. Terminator 2 - Skynet: The idea of computers becoming smarter than humans is a real concept, and experts call it "singularity". Experts also predict singularity is just around the corner OMG
2. The Jetsons - flying cars: Many different types of flying cars have been around since the 1940's, but these days the Moller M400 SkyCar is pretty much the industry standard. And for all you hippie / burner / Greenpeace queers who think using fossil fuels is "harmful to the ozone layer", there's even an environmentally friendly flying car coming out next year OMG
3. GATTACA / Brave New World / 1984 - designer babies: We have the technology to create artificial wombs, we have the technology to synthesize sperm from male OR female DNA, and PGD is the most popular method for gender selection OMG
4. Too drunk to think of a movie this is in - longevity: Some scientist named Aubrey de Grey seems to think we're only 20-40 years away from a genetic treatment that will allow humans to live for 1000 years. How can that beard be wrong? He's totally a mad scientist OMG
5. Star Wars (and every other sci-fi movie) - lasers: Bitches don't know about lasers. Lasers on a plane? FUCK YEAH LASERS ON A PLANE. American infantry with lasers in Iraq? It's more likely than you think. Side note: Scientists have used a semiconductor to control the speed of light and make it really slow (38 mph, to be exact). Does this mean they could slow down lasers? Or maybe even freeze lasers mid-beam? Just speculating. Because that sounds a lot like a MOTHERFUCKING LIGHTSABER OMG
6. Star Trek - teleportation: Scientists have already successfully "teleported a quantum state to distant matter". I tried to read this article about a milestone in quantum teleportation, but I started getting a nosebleed. Here's an even more "you're-not-smart-enough-to-read-this" article on the same subject. I don't understand any of it, but as far as I can tell, we're making teleportation progress OMG
7. Hollow Man - invisibility: I saved the best for last here. No bullshit, scientists are making some kind of progress in invisiblity research. Once again the technical aspects are WAY over my head, but here's an article about it OMG

Now if you'll excuse me, my wife and I have an appointment with our fertility specialist to choose the gender of our child, and I'm way behind schedule so I'll take my flying car AIGHT L8