On Wednesday I'm Burgin', HARD.

We here at Hot Damn TV sure do appreciate a tasty hamburger (fuck you brontosaurus hippie wannabes, John Wayne died with 2 pounds of undigested red meat in his belly). One of our favorite places to obtain delicious treats when we are burgin' extra hard is Carls Jr. But we don't just order off the menu and accept what our lord and savior Carl Karcher would have us accept as his sacrement, nay we order our shit HOT DAMN style. To order an item HOT DAMN style you need only do the following:
- Sub Pepperjack Cheese (if applicable)
- Sub Santa Fe Sauce (or add if applicable)
- Add Red Onions
- Add Jalapenos

Literally all of these earthshakingly acceptable modifications are free. Often times you can find yourself with a much tastier burger by simply making it hotdamn style. Take the Big Carl for example (aka Carls Jr's "FUCK YOU MCDONALDS" burger):


It comes with America(fuckyea)n Cheese so you need only ask to Substitute PepperJack Cheese (Fig.C). It does not come with red onions so you must add them (Fig.B), same with Jalapenos (Fig.D). It initially comes with Classic Sauce but do not accept this, DEMAND to substitute Santa Fe Sauce (Fig.A lol its a Hyundai Santa Fe).

PRO TIP: Do not forget to SUB Santa Fe Sauce because it will taste like ass if you have both sauces battling it out for saucepremacy atop your taste buds.

TK has personally eaten well over 9,000 HOT DAMN style Spicy Chickens, and has woken me up from a drunken stupor many a time by hucking a Carl's bag at my head. At first I was like ! But then I was all ^_^. The recipe for that is:

1 Spicy Chicken Sammich
Sub Santa Fe Sauce
Add Red Onions and Jalapenos
(As it does not come with cheese initially and we refuse to pay 30 cents extra the pepperjack cheese is not applicable)

PRO TIP: Get House Dressing on the side for extra joy.

Be sure to demand that the employee refer to your burger as a HOT DAMN style Spicy Chicken or Big Carl (lol viral marketing). Also for those of you keeping count, a Jalapeno Burger (with almost exactly the same stuff as the HOT DAMN Style Big Carl) costs like 4 bucks and some change and comes with 1 patty and 1 piece of cheese. The Big Carl comes with 2 patties and 2 cheeses and is like 2-3 bucks. ??? Profit.

-G