Drinking Game: Conan The Barbarian

I just remembered a few months ago TK told me to post drinking games, so I've decided to finaly do that. I am world renowned for creating drinking games to go along with movies and TV shows, but the one I'm particularly proud of is the Conan drinking game.

STEP 1: Get a hold of CONAN THE BARBARIAN (1982)
STEP 2: ???
RULES:
Drink every time the following words or phrases are said:
- Crom
- Steel
- Doom
- Flesh
- “Do you wanna live forever?”
- “Contemplate this on the tree of woe” (Finish your beer)
- “I did it!!.. With my spear!” (Finish your beer)

Drink every time the following are seen:
- Any awkwardly gay moments
- Two snakes coming together over a black sun (or a description of the same)
- Nudity (consists of two visible female nipples on the screen at one time)
- Whenever Conan drinks anything or passes out into a bowl of gruel
- A guy fucking a llama (Finish your beer)

End Game:
When you get to the credits, with the snake symbol (finish your beer! NOTE: if you have less than 50% of a beer left you must open a new one and finish that)

Congratulations, you are some kind of fucking barbarian and you have finished the game.

If you aren't fair to proper sloshed by the end of the film then you aren't doing it right. In the grim winter of 2007 we created this game at my brother's old house on Del Sol. As I recall David, Jake, Marissa, Sean and myself were playing/creating it. The hippies and their dog may have been there too.

On Wednesday I'm Burgin', HARD.

We here at Hot Damn TV sure do appreciate a tasty hamburger (fuck you brontosaurus hippie wannabes, John Wayne died with 2 pounds of undigested red meat in his belly). One of our favorite places to obtain delicious treats when we are burgin' extra hard is Carls Jr. But we don't just order off the menu and accept what our lord and savior Carl Karcher would have us accept as his sacrement, nay we order our shit HOT DAMN style. To order an item HOT DAMN style you need only do the following:
- Sub Pepperjack Cheese (if applicable)
- Sub Santa Fe Sauce (or add if applicable)
- Add Red Onions
- Add Jalapenos

Literally all of these earthshakingly acceptable modifications are free. Often times you can find yourself with a much tastier burger by simply making it hotdamn style. Take the Big Carl for example (aka Carls Jr's "FUCK YOU MCDONALDS" burger):


It comes with America(fuckyea)n Cheese so you need only ask to Substitute PepperJack Cheese (Fig.C). It does not come with red onions so you must add them (Fig.B), same with Jalapenos (Fig.D). It initially comes with Classic Sauce but do not accept this, DEMAND to substitute Santa Fe Sauce (Fig.A lol its a Hyundai Santa Fe).

PRO TIP: Do not forget to SUB Santa Fe Sauce because it will taste like ass if you have both sauces battling it out for saucepremacy atop your taste buds.

TK has personally eaten well over 9,000 HOT DAMN style Spicy Chickens, and has woken me up from a drunken stupor many a time by hucking a Carl's bag at my head. At first I was like ! But then I was all ^_^. The recipe for that is:

1 Spicy Chicken Sammich
Sub Santa Fe Sauce
Add Red Onions and Jalapenos
(As it does not come with cheese initially and we refuse to pay 30 cents extra the pepperjack cheese is not applicable)

PRO TIP: Get House Dressing on the side for extra joy.

Be sure to demand that the employee refer to your burger as a HOT DAMN style Spicy Chicken or Big Carl (lol viral marketing). Also for those of you keeping count, a Jalapeno Burger (with almost exactly the same stuff as the HOT DAMN Style Big Carl) costs like 4 bucks and some change and comes with 1 patty and 1 piece of cheese. The Big Carl comes with 2 patties and 2 cheeses and is like 2-3 bucks. ??? Profit.

-G

Today is Twos Deigh.

In lieu of actually creating Original Comment I have decided to just share with you one of the most incredible videos ever, and it being twos deigh I have decided two would be a cool guy:





-G

Today is Monday

So Tom is away fighting the good fight and making sure one day an awful lot of fathers will be VERY disappointed in their precious little girls, but he is still winning battles here on the home front. As everyone knows TK is our in house lawyer (on retainer, has a retainer, also retaining wall) for all matter pertaining to bird law. I was a victim of racism and obvious profiling but with TK's help I beat those charges like Rocky. Observe my victory you stinking Coronado bacon bits: -G

ITS ALL TOMS FAULT

I'd like to blame the liberal media, or Obama (WTF CANCEL MY MOON MISSION?!! YOU...) but no this time it was all TK. He broke the blog but the important thing is he also fixed it! So now I can bring you delicious and tantilizing el oh els (original comment) on a regular basis. To ease you all back into the whole blog thing again I tenderly submit the following:

<3 G