Wednesday, December 30, 2009

LOL BARONA SHOOTING

TK writes:
So yesterday there was a shooting at Barona Casino. A disgruntled former employee came to the casino, shot his former boss, and then turned the gun on himself. LOL (click here for the news story) Anyway, as always we decided to turn tragedy into comedy. Enjoy.

Even Barona employees are making light of co-worker murder / suicide. Feels good man. Anyways I gtg, I'm having dinner at Barona with some freinds.

Tuesday, December 29, 2009

So Much Potential, Has Trouble Focusing on Tasks

Grant scribes:
Well I was supposed to post drinking games, but I didn't because I'm a pissflap. Instead I have decided to make myself available to all the super fine ladies out there that tune in to our (not mine) stupid (very) website full of vidyas. In a segment we here at damn hot radio station call: "We'll literally sleep with anyone"

Bachelor Number 17: Grant

My Idea of a great first date:

I would take you out for a dinner and tournament at Medieval Times and we would both yell at the serving wench when she refused to give us more than 2 beers. Then we would get pissed and leave and throw the rotisserie chickens they brought us at the Green Knight because he is a dick any way. After fending off security and the court wizard with nothing but our wits, an empty pitcher of ye olde Coca Cola and a handful of banners for the Red Knight (hell yea) we would make our way to the stables and feed the horsies carrots. :3

Turn Ons:

Hunchbacks, 4H members

Turn Offs:

Dudes and Dudes Butts

All this could be yours ladies! (no dudes)

In other news: Chris "Madfrog" Madero gives birth to La Chupacabra's love child?! The scandal! The horror! The kinky jungle sex! We'll tell all, next time we decide to write a blog post!

Also check out the kick ass Jew Xmas (with 80% moar lobster) and other stuff our gigantic and well funded New Media division has churned out.

-G

Monday, December 28, 2009

EXTREME!!!!

From 2006 archives: THIS GUY IS A FUCKING ANIMAL

Sunday, December 27, 2009

The Randomest Video Ever Shot

TK writes:
Recently while looking through my vast archives of gay pornography, I stumbled across an old sketch that I shot with my friend Aaron. This video is about 3 years old, and is the result of boredom and a very serious hangover. It took about 10 minutes to shoot. It's not funny enough to go on the website, so I thought I'd put it on the blog.
tl;dr It's an old video I found on my computer. Enjoy <3

Thursday, December 24, 2009

What Do Your Elf Eyes See?

Below, we have unaltered screenshots from The Lord of the Rings. But first, click here for our Christmas video <3

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Long Lost Footage!

Hey kids! TK recently found some old footage of Dan launching our current site back in September. Enjoy!

Look for a Christmas video on the site later tonight! HAPPY KWANZAA, FAGGOTS <3

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Medical Weed-pots

TK writes:
So Chris has mastered the art of pissing off his homeowners association. He's constantly smoking pot, and the neighbors assume he's some kind of serious drug kingpin and constantly call the cops on him (Fortunately Chris has his medical card, so his marijuana use is legally sound according to California Health and Safety code 11362.5). Well here's a fun fact: apparently if you have your medical card, you're legally allowed to smoke weed ANYWHERE THAT SMOKING CIGARETTES ARE LEGAL. Chris was smoking a joint outside and a cop came up to him to talk about his neighbors complaining, and Chris was like: "Do you want me to put out my joint?" And the cop said: "No sir, it would be illegal for me to tell you to extinguish that." LOLWUT
What kind of ass-backwards world is this when it's illegal for a cop to tell you NOT to smoke weed? Seems legit I guess. THANKS SDPD

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Drinking Games: Lisa's DUI

TK writes:
Hey kids, you remember Lisa, the prettiest girl in the country (Mexico)?
texts from last night:
Lisa > TK - 1:09 AM: "Totally not sober. Uh oh"
Lisa > TK - 9:30 AM: "Just got out of jail so you should prob call me sometime to figure out how to get your car out of impound <3"
THE RACECAR IS IN JAIL!!!!1! HotDamnTV must get justice for this outrage! Write / email your local politicians and leaders to tell them that our racecar deserves its freedom (because after all, the HotDamnTV racecar has often been called the Nelson Mandela of comedy). You can contact Duncan Hunter, the U.S. House Representative for California's 52nd District by clicking here, and if you don't live in Poway, you can find out the contact information of your local representatives by clicking here. To send an email correspondence to Barack Obama's White House staff, click here.
You can also help support our cause by spitting / shitting on every cop car / transit cop that you see. Together we can get justice and FREE THE RACECAR!
*Update: One of the cops (faggots) was going through Lisa's bag, and she told him: "well I aint passed the bar but I know a lil bit... enough that you won't illegally search my shit"
LOL she's a keeper <3
*2nd Update: LOL IRONIC ADVERTISEMENT