Wednesday, October 26, 2011


After days and days of failed attempts to fight the boys away from the TV, I finally acquired it as Grant was passed out and TK was out of town. Let us bask in the glory of silence for awhile...

... ah yes... no angry reports of gunfire from our speakers from Call of Duty: Black Ops... no awful AWFUL B movies Grant found on Netflix about dark carnivals and/or Kung Fu and suchlike. A moment to myself. Now I get to do girl things...

Who am I kidding, I'm not very good at being a girl. I didn't watch a chick flick, or invite the ladies over. PSSH No way. I was supposed to be at work... that work being an extra gig in which I am at a bachelorette party looking shocked and awed at my girl the bachelorette's wild and crazy behavior. Yes, I found it on craigslist. Yes, it's for a porn. And yes... I chickened out. But only because I wasn't able to get ahold of my dad in time to ask him how ashamed he would be of his depraved daughter's behavior getting facetime in a porn. But that ship has sailed, and now here I am, luxuriating around the apartment and applying for jobs to fill that void of the would be $140 of ill gotten sustenance.

AND THUS will I resume my routine - put on a movie, fire up job search engines and craigslist on my laptop (Grant, it's a macbook PRO thank you. Quit hating.) and try once again to be a grown up.

(haha morning? I woke up at 1PM)


It's old and it's mainstream, so I'm probably boring you but get over it because I have a huge hard on for this movie. Here's a few reasons:

It won 8 Oscars in 1984, including Best Picture. (Not a big deal) and Film composer John Strauss won a Grammy for producing the soundtrack.

It's silly!

Dudes dressed up as birdies singing an opera:

Mozart's redonkulous laugh:

The characters are very compelling and the acting is spot on. The story is about Mozart and what a complete asshole he is while he dominates the Vienese (and thereby "world" - that is - european) music scene. BONUS: It also follows the vengeful and jealous story of his contemporary Antonio Salieri, which is very moving and dramatic:

I am a big European history nerd, so I geek out like crazy over this. Here's some neat stuff to keep in mind as you dedicate 2 hours and 40 minutes to the director's cut. DO IT ANYWAY, don't puss out because of big numbers.

IRL - Mozart's requiem was never finished, he died before it could be completed. The music had someone else's handwriting on the several pages leading up to when it stopped.

"Requiem" was commissioned anonymously - it was later discovered to be commissioned by an Austrian aristocrat, Count Walsegg, who had an established pattern of paying well for anonymous works from composers and taking credit for them.

In the period leading up to Mozart's death, he became very ill and whilst working on Requiem was quite convinced that he was poisoned.

Salieri and Mozart were known rivals. Mozart has several correspondences with friends in which he indicates Salieri may be up to something nefarious.

Salieri was committed to a mental institution for dementia.

Habsburg Holy Roman Emperor Joseph II was known for being a patron of the arts, but with little knowledge of music. Jeffrey Jones' portrayal of him and his scripting is perfect.

Note: Most of these infos are paraphrasings from me having watched the featurette documentary from the Director's Cut DVD, internet investigationry on Wikipedia and it's sources (some people click them) and me being smart and shit. Yeah, I took the AP Euro test and got a 4 without taking the class - NOT A BIG DEAL. I'm not a grown up though, so I'm not gonna spend the time finding the sources again to cite them after Grant closed my shit while I was working.


Grant writes:

Couldn't let Brandy have the last word chums. You were probably thinking to yourself "Self, we finally made it through a hotdams toasting that wasn't about Insane Clown Posse! Neat! Theres no way Grant or anyone else for that matter can figure a way to tie ICP and Mozart together." But wait, there's more:

ICP and Jack White (yea, that Jack White from the White Stripes) recently collaborated on a song entitled "Leck Mich Im Arsch". The melody for the song was written by Mozart back in 1776 or some shit, and then a few million years later Jack White did some producering to it and then ICP laid down some words on top of it. Its not a big deal. ICP sold the track on vinyl for a limited time on their website. Stranger than fiction. Mozart bitches.


Saturday, October 22, 2011

Even More Pictures of Clowns Juggalos and Soda Pop!

For your viewing pleasure please feel free to browse all 225 pictures that made the final cut from our shoot at Insane Clown Posse's American Psycho Tour:

Don't forget guys the tour still has a few dates left! Also this just in straight from Psychopathic Records:

ICP has been celebrating Halloween night for the past 17 years by throwing a massive party in Detroit called Hallowicked. This coming October 31st marks the duo’s 18th Annual Hallowicked show, which promises to be super exciting with performances by ICP and their label mates Twiztid and Blaze Ya Dead Homie. Dancing Zombies + Insane Clowns + Musical Horror Stories Rapped Over Catchy Beats + Face Painted Juggalos Covered in Faygo + Most Entertaining Event on Halloween night = HALLOWICKED!!!!

Hallowicked will take place at the Fillmore. The official Hallowicked after party will immediately follow at St. Andrews Hall, which will feature JCW matches and a performance by Wolfpac. We regard Hallowicked as a national event, as Juggalos from all over the US and Canada are always in attendance. This year we’re making Hallowicked available for Juggalos and media world wide! So, if you are not able to attend due to location the show will be broadcasted live via internet pay-per-view at


Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Twofer Tuesday

This week the two-fur comes to us from the loftiest heights of the interbutts. One was a leftover from the twofer grab bag (where I save videos I've found myself or I've forgotten whom I stole them from) and the other was foisted upon me by none other than Dan Beam (the guy who is going to buy me and TK a laser that costs like $1,000.00 because he loves us).

Bad commercials are incredible. The first sentence under the next video is going to say the same damn thing. Now a days people seem to be trying to make their videos bad intentionally to gain a bit of intertube celebrity. But from one E-Personality to another I must tell you a secret: There is no money on the internets. Sort of like girls, just not there. Also real talk we're going to go visit this guy and try to figure out why he won't taxidermize pets.

Bad commercials are incredible. This commercial is totally fake and not even a thing but it is still pretty awesome. If I only owned a VCR I would call this number and try to turn it into cash. I love the internet.


BONUS: The laser Dan is going to buy for us.

Saturday, October 15, 2011

Drinking Game: Sunshine

Real talk, Sunshine is easily one of my and TK's favorite films. Danny Boyle is a master of the post/near apocalyptic genre. Also for an added bonus, the soundtrack is incredible and has been featured in motion pictures and television recently (Kick Ass for one). Everything is fundamentally awesome. Get some beer and peel your peepers cuz this is one hell of a movie.

Step 1: Get a hold of Sunshine (holy shit the BLU-Ray is prettty)
Step 2: ???

Drink Whenever the following is said or heard:
Units of time (14 hours, 10 seconds, 8 minutes anything with a number and a unit)

Drink Whenever the Following is seen:
Killian Murphy Sulks
A crew member dies
Someone drinks
Flash frames of other crew members

Waterfall whenever Pinbacker vision happens (that trippy wax on lens, double camera shit that happens whenever Pinbacker is on screen)

Finish Your Drink When:
One of the Icarus II's crew dies

Final Thoughts:

My favorite part was when those two guys were totally gay. You know. Those two guys kept giving each other looks. You know. The Captain and Capa. They totally had something going on. Shit was obvious. The movie was great. The game was drunk. And.. if you're looking to watch a good movie and enjoy a good beer... The rules were very good. Aaah... Ya know. I got too drunk to think of anything actually appropriately funny. I think that you would get drunk and enjoy a great fucking movie at the same time. The rules get you thinking that male characters had sex with other characters. Maybe they did. Maybe they didnt. There were too many Capas. The Sun was making eyes at everyone. Capa and Mace were definitely fucking.

Don't try this with wine HHGGGGNNN... It was difficult to keep track of things at the beginning, but it made sense at the end, which is not typically how it works. That ho should not be so mopey (Rose Burne), that made me mad. The guys should have operated the switch with the suit on and then floated over, but that did not happen so I was mad (referring to when Icarus I gets cut off from Icarus II and there is only one space suit). Excellent movie, Excellent game, not a good idea to play the game the first time you see it.

Its one of those drinking games where a few rules give you consistent drinks. Almost too much though, almost on par with the Conan drinking game. However being one of the best films ever made I willl Allow it. Also I am drunk. And Rose Burne is the sexiest female alive.

Ryan Neal is so high. This is easily the best movie ever made. The drinking game was good. I can't believe TK and I have watched this movie so many times and this is the first time we've actually put pen to paper and made the game. Feels great though. Try NIGHTMARE MODE for an added challenge!

There was some kind of huge hullabaloo with the soundtrack. Apparently they never copyrighted it or only one of the guys from the composing team did or whatever. But they never really released an official soundtrack apart from an iTunes release. Anyway, listen to some of the delicious music:

BONUS: Every other time we've watched it we just drank until we couldn't feel feelings, which is always a great way to appreciate some mother f'ing cinema. :3


Friday, October 14, 2011

More Stuff about ICP!

So we were at the ICP show at The Grove last weekend, doin all sorts of science. Psychopathic Records was shooting a music video, here read their description:
"...with no preparation, no budget, and no planning they shot a music video on the fly to go along with the track at the venue in LA! In addition to ICP, Twiztid, Blaze, and Big Hutch the music video features cameos by some of Psychopathic’s homies who had randomly stopped by to say hello at the LA gig. This includes Johnny Richter of the Kottonmouth Kings, Ron Jeremy, and Dennis White of Charm Farm AKA Static Revenger. But really, the biggest stars of the video are easily the Juggalos..."
Sounds pretty serious, I know. There is one thing they forgot though, Brandy is totally in this music video. Stand by for her worldwide debut as featured talent:


BONUS: Check out the video!

Saturday, October 8, 2011

The Show Must Go On

(Click on me for full glorious resolution)

Once in a while the moon and the stars align and something pretty rad happens in this great nation of ours. Psychopathic Records has pulled out all of the stops to bring a spectacle (the likes of which hasn't been seen in ages) to your big town. HotDamnTV had the very serious privilege of being invited to witness this spetacle when the Dark Carnival creeped, slithered, and slid through Anaheim, California (known to some as the county made of oranges). Coming to you (more dead than a)live from The Grove at Anaheim, we are proud to present Insane Clown Posse's American Psycho Tour.

Right coast staples of the wicked shit (and your one-stop-shop for a good portion of the folks that used to roll with the Bloodhound Gang) Wolfpac opened up. Daddy Long Legs and the boys no doubt entertained the shit out of the Juggalos in attendance with their blend of bad ass hip hop and "strippers" that fail to fulfill one of their primary jobs in life (removing clothing). I've seen these guys do their thing many a time and I am never disappointed. They always take the time to send a few representatives out to their merch table to give daps to all of the ninjas that came out. Unfortunately, we missed their set due to traffic.

Blaze delivered a solid set. When you go on a tour that is one Hatchet Warrior shy of Dark Lotus, you can expect to be entertained. He played all the classics like "Nasty" and "Hood Rat" and "Saturday Afternoon". The dead man had everyone's hands waving back and forth for "Escape Artist". A lot of Blaze's stuff is written with a hype man involved, but to save Mr. Grundy a bit of breath, he just wrapped his parts and then let the playback take care of the rest of the vocals. Notably absent were ABK or The ROC, who usually take the stage with him to lay down the hype. When you have this many acts sharing the same stage, some artists would just opt to hang up a banner, but considering Blaze only had the first 5 feet of the stage to work with, they put together a pretty cool backdrop (a giant clock riddled with bullets).

Next up were the Monoxide Child and The Multiple Man, collectively known as Twiztid! They opened up laughing like a lunatic with their song "Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha Ha" from their album w.i.c.k.e.d. The Juggalos popped like The Rock had just hit The Rock Bottom on a jabroni. They moved right on to "Die Motherfucker Die", and the whole crowd was screaming back the lyrics at the top of their lungs. My photographer asked me about the lack of crowd surfing and mosh pits (which she had come to know from seeing Twiztid in Hollywood). My best theory is that there were just too many people packed into such a small area to even get that kind of mayhem started.

Segueing right into an old school and somewhat obscure favorite, the fearsome twosome showed off their skills with "Murder Murder Murder". They played through a huge portion of their discography with tracks like "Sex Drugs Money and Murder", "We Don't Die", "Bussyoheadopen", "So High" and "They Told Me". All great stuff.

Some of the stand outs from their set were "Afraid of Me" as well as the songs they did when Blaze Ya Dead Homie came back out to lay down his part of "4 Thoze of U" and "How I Live". This was a rare treat, and the performance of this track was made even fresher because it was a special remixed version of "How I Live".

Right before ICP was scheduled to hit the stage, JCW super star Corporal Robinson came out with a camera crew. The crowd was ready for the clowns, and he went on to whip them into a frenzy to film a little bit of a video for a song by (the myth, the legend) Legs Diamond. Fans of the Clowns will recognize Legs from his instrumental and vocal work all over ICP's catalog. Rumors have been floating around about him working on an album since I was a kid, so I can only imagine the project is nearing completion.

There are a few times during the night when the crowd got so loud it was deafening. The first time was when the house lights cut off to signal the start of ICP's set. The speakers thrummed with bass and a record slowly spun up in vaudevillian fashion. The curtains opened, and the lights came up to the tune our National Anthem. And oh say, I could see: a stage covered in pristine unopened Faygo 2 liters, and a patriotic interpretation of the letters ICP as tall as the entire backdrop. The crowd is in a total frenzy at this point, screaming for the clowns. Shouts of "ICP" "Family!" and "We Want Faygo" are battling for supremacy over the general roar. Then, out come Shaggy 2 Dope and Violent J on tricycles pimped out in styles both patriotic and psychopathic.

The crowd was beside themselves, or at least they would have been if there was any room in the pit. (They
were packed in there like Vienna Sausages.) ICP opened with "In Your Face" off of Bang Pow Boom, and immediately the clowns had the audience right where they wanted them. After a few bars, Violent J grabbed the first 2 liter of the night and the crowd went (pardon the pun) insane.

For those of you who don't know, an Insane Clown Posse concert is like a baptism in Faygo. You don't attend the concert so much as tread soda pop the entire time. Tonight, the true believers were ready for their sacrament. ICP does not disappoint, they even have "Faygo Breaks" periodically during the show (during one of which I had to dive in front of my photographer to save her very expensive camera from a high velocity sample of Faygo Diet Rootbeer that was being fired from a water cannon). What is it like to be at one of these shows? Awesome. Fucking amazing. I have lost count of the people who have told me they hate ICP and then have gone to a show and can't stop raving about how much fun it was.

Trying to write notes on the set list and what ever else was going on, (even when hiding behind a speaker stack) was difficult at best. You know that scene from Forrest Gump when he is in Vietnam, and he's writing that super fine gal from The Princess Bride letters about how the rain falls sideways and falls up and there was hard rain and soft rain and all that? Well imagine that but with thousands of variegated flavors of diet Faygo and that is a pretty close approximation.

The set list had a very good sampling of some of the fan favorites. "Hokus Pokus", "Dead Body Man", "Bitches", "The Show Must Go On", "Tilt-A-Whirl", "Birthday Bitches", "I Stab People", "Fuck The World", "Miracles", "Down With The Clown" (Remix), "Marsh Lagoon", "The Nedden Game", "Let's Go All The Way", "Homies" (w/ Twiztid), "If I Was A Serial Killer", and finally "Bang Pow Boom" for the Faygo Armageddon at the end of the show.

ICP's stage show is quite elaborate (as if rapping and throwing deelicious 2 liters onto the masses wasn't enough). For "Dead Body Man" they had a crew of zombies come out who would alternately grab Faygo and just flop around dead on the stage. For "Chicken Hunting" they threw feathers all over the crowd (and soda, don't think I forgot) and I feel like there was some sort of racist redneck effigy that was hurled out there too. For "Birthday Bitches" streamers were thrown, and most ended up tangled in the lighting grid. For a special treat, Twiztid even came out to share the stage and do their verses from "Homies".

The final number was quite a spectacle this tour. For years ICP has ended the show on a high note and brought out everyone on the tour (as well as a whole heap of their pals) to throw the last of the soda. This is known as the Faygo Armageddon, and for good reason: if you weren't wet before, you will be by the end of this thing. ICP's thing is all about the packaging. Mainstream artists sell 200,000 units on iTunes, do a shitty arena show and then go home, but not the clowns. On this tour, ICP began offering VIP packages for the first time, which includes a Meet & Greet, Tour Shirt, CD, and (but wait there's more) the chance to participate in the final number, and help dump soda on your fellow ninjas in the pit. Breaking down the barrier between artist and fan is what separates Psychopathic from the majority of big label acts and even a lot of the independent ones.

A BIG thank you to Psychopathic Records for inviting us to take part in one of their biggest and baddest tours to date. Another thank you goes out to the staff at The Grove of Anaheim, especially all the poor bastards that had to clean all that crap up. Stay tuned, we'll be posting more pictures on a flickr for all your observing pleasure as soon as we get 'em all watermarked with our Ace photographer Brandy's name all over 'em.

Here is a quick sample of what you are missing if you don't go see this show! (This was shot in another state, earlier on the tour.) Buy the ticket, take the ride my friends.


Tuesday, October 4, 2011

Twofer Tuesday

I've found that a large amount of work can be cut out by simply stealing content from other people. Of course, I still have to type words so that the videos are framed by all sorts of pretty letters and apostrophes and such, but when you've been on the internets since the days of 26k modems and AOL and such like it can be quite a nuisance to try to find new content to share (steal). So without further wordage, here are two from Juliet (however she doesn't know she submitted them)

We've been making fun of twilight since before it was cool ( This and that and this and i guess that). Mostly because Sean has read all of the books and is therefore some kind of 12 year old (tween?) girl. This video captures all of the wonder of the later films and also 80% of the sexuality. I am going to mark this as legitimately lol inducing.

The commenters cry fake, and i'm inclined to believe them but this is a video of some handsome fella who was minding his own business dangling his balls out of his window whilst enjoying a cigarette when suddenly his loving pooch pearl harbors him and spooks him out the window. Second floor? Twelfth floor? We can only hope. Standing by to see this on tosh.o but none of our shit.

SPECIAL THANKS: Juliet, some kind of female critter.


BONUS: Today is 10-4! Happy radio jargon for copying a message day.