Thursday, July 29, 2010

An attempt to... derive comedy.

Listen up sportsfans: shit is getting serious. As serious as a heart attack. As serious as a ninja attack. As serious as an attack by a squad of ninjas, all of whom have some kind of pulmonary defect. So I'm taking Calculus for the n^th time, but that is besides the (decimal) point. What is significant (digits) is that its all coming to a close. I only have about a week left in the class, after which rewards and pleasures that most men cannot even fathom will be made available to me. This all contingent upon me passing though.

Here is a summary of the cash and prizes that could all be mine if I win Calculus:

  • 1 Keg of Beer from Dan
  • 1 Cake baked by Dan's Mommy (Mrs. Dr. Beam)
  • Feel up Juliet for approximately 1 minute
  • The respect of my peers
  • Fulfilling one of the few requirements left until I get my degree and finally graduate

I recently sat down with Megan and asked her how she felt about me taking Calculus:
BONUS: If I pass Calculus this time I'll post my transcripts to show how many times I've taken it.


EDIT: TK writes - Can you use Chemistry to pass Calculus? Find out next week!

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Dear Greedo

TK writes:
Since we at HotDamnTV are hip and up-to-speed on all internet fads, we thought we'd post a little something relating to that brand new "Dear Sister" sketch that SNL just did a few days ago. Here it is, with no further ado:

Special thanks to Adam Rebottaro for being bored and making this. Adam is a cool guy, and his little sister is really cute. I might buy her a steak dinner.

Thursday, July 1, 2010


As if we didn't have enough trouble trying to get people to look at our stupid website, what I'm assuming is racism is causing Firefox to categorize as an "attack site". I would have fixed whatever bit of code (probably adsense related) is causing it to shot brox but unfortunately I have several obstacles to overcome:
First: Dan is currently braving the treacherous waters of the Black Coast (Mexico or something?) with his fair wench Juliet so he is unavailable for comment on how to go about fixing the internets. (See picture for an artists rendering of what that is probably like) So even if I was able to get a hold of him he is probably too busy ravishing her or pillaging any internets they might happen to have that close to the equator.

Second: I don't have any of the access codes to alter our tube-layout.

Third: I never technically graduated college (or 3rd grade) so I am woefully under qualified to even contemplate repairs of that magnitude.

Fourth: I think the now broken site looks kinda nifty. I say web 3.0 be damned! Let our site harken back to a time when pages were loaded full of animated gifs and bulleted lists!

So for now pals just use iE or something other than firefox unless you want our beautiful site that Dan worked so hard to build to look like this:


The best crappy facepile targeted AD I've seen today: