Thursday, July 29, 2010

An attempt to... derive comedy.

Listen up sportsfans: shit is getting serious. As serious as a heart attack. As serious as a ninja attack. As serious as an attack by a squad of ninjas, all of whom have some kind of pulmonary defect. So I'm taking Calculus for the n^th time, but that is besides the (decimal) point. What is significant (digits) is that its all coming to a close. I only have about a week left in the class, after which rewards and pleasures that most men cannot even fathom will be made available to me. This all contingent upon me passing though.

Here is a summary of the cash and prizes that could all be mine if I win Calculus:

  • 1 Keg of Beer from Dan
  • 1 Cake baked by Dan's Mommy (Mrs. Dr. Beam)
  • Feel up Juliet for approximately 1 minute
  • The respect of my peers
  • Fulfilling one of the few requirements left until I get my degree and finally graduate

I recently sat down with Megan and asked her how she felt about me taking Calculus:
BONUS: If I pass Calculus this time I'll post my transcripts to show how many times I've taken it.


EDIT: TK writes - Can you use Chemistry to pass Calculus? Find out next week!

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