Tuesday, September 14, 2010

This was a triumph...

I'm making a note here: mild success (bordering on failure).

The Plan: To think up a neat way to give away some really shiny Cash & Prizes to our adoring fans and also do some guerrilla marketing. (Special thanks to the folks at portOpong.com!)

The Dream: People would enter our contest, and news would spread virally across the internets until we had so many people enter, when one winner finally emerged we would hear the plaintive cries of thousands of really disappointed Hotdammers.

The Reality: 6 people entered.

To understand my consternation I think we're going to need to look at some cold hard data.
We need to make asses out of you and me, in order to get the number I feel best represents the number of possible entries. We're going to assume that no one who just clicked onto the blog (the figures with the pretty graph) clicked on the video embedded there. We're also going to assume that all of the figures from the actual blog itself (the figure circled top left) were not from the same people that had previously visited the main blog site, but were perhaps linked there by pals or via search engine (our drinking games are apparently very popular when googling). Finally we're going to assume that everyone who observed the video also did so independently. This is my science, so fuck you I'm doing the ciphering. So maybe it's a generous amount of assuming but damn it Jim, I'm a comedian not a statistician!

If we take those figures and add how many people I'm friends with on facepile and how many people TK is friends with we come up with the following number of possible entries:
3126+402+225 = 3,753. So around 3,753 people that COULD have entered. We had 6. That's like 0.15% participation. That's lower than my cumulative GPA in every calculus class I've failed.

Perhaps the contest was too difficult? Perhaps people don't want free alcohol and bitchin' prizes. Maybe your parents don't like me (specifically) or you don't want to have sex with anyone involved with HotDamnTV. But I think we all know the reason why you didn't enter.-G

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