Monday, October 11, 2010

Twofer Tuesday

At the HotDamn Institute for Higher Learning and Edumacationalmentology we are always making great strides to keep you on the cutting edge of both internet lulz and moderately serious alcohol abuse. This week's Twofer Tuesday is primarily about drinking. The only bad thing about drinking is that sometimes the delicious nectar is hidden behind a barrier of impenetrable glass, glass that shines like diamonds in the cruel afternoon sun.

We've all been there before. You're going to be coolest hipster around and drink some 2003 merlot out of a bottle at some kind of 6 day noncomformist music festival in the middle of Tennessee. You've already paid $300.00 for a ticket and you're wearing $735.00 worth of American Apparel but you've forgotten your corkscrew! Oh noooo. Luckily there is an alternative method to open wine bottles using nothing more than a classy dress shoe and your wits. Like MacGyver, only with a stupid checkered scarf or teal pants 2 sizes too small.

Anyone worth their molecular formula NaCl with a Molar mass 58.443 g/mol can open a beer bottle with a lighter, or another beer bottle for that matter. But certain people have developed techniques that just plain make them look cool. Ladies please prepare to become impregnated. While you're doing that, feel free to ignore the fact that the lever part of this operation will go crashing to the floor under most circumstances.