Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Drinking Game: Home Alone

TK writes:
Being the brown skinned, black haired fellow that I am, I do not celebrate Christmas. I belong to a faith that celebrates a holiday called Festivus, popularized by the TV show Seinfeld. As you may know, Festivus begins with the airing of grievances, so to air a grievance click here.
For those of you fair-skinned individuals with Judeo-Christian values, we made a drinking game based on the classic Christmas film: "Home Alone", starring Kieran Culkin as Fuller McCallister, and Macaulay Culkin as Kevin McCallister. Because the only way to tolerate Christmas is with ethyl-alcohol inside of your bloodstream. (Also this movie is 20 years old now. Can you believe it? I mean I remember watching it when I was a kid! God I feel old. Let's talk about something else.)

Step 1: Pirate, I mean download, I mean go to Blockbuster and rent a DVD VHS of Home Alone.
Step 2: Make at least one gallon of eggnog.
Step 3: ???

Drink when the following are said/heard:
-Macaulay Culkin (Kevin) screams (drink twice if he's putting aftershave on his face)
-Joe Pesci's (Harry's) gold tooth sparkles (drink twice if John Heard [Kevin's dad] is holding it when it sparkles)
-Macaulay Culkin breaks the 4th wall
-anytime a tarantula is in frame
-Macaulay Culkin says "I don't think so"
-Someone knocks over the statue in the McCallister's front yard
-any reference is made to Kieran Culkin's (Fuller's) bedwetting
-someone is running through an airport
-anytime an American Airlines employee is way more polite and/or good looking than they would be in real life
-"Keep the change, you filthy animal" is said
-Macaulay Culkin talks out loud to show his inner monologue even though he's by himself
-John Candy (Gus) says the word "polka"
-anytime Judeo-Christian values/undertones are apparent
-Joe Pesci talks angry like he's cursing but he isn't actually cursing
-Daniel Stern (Marv) or Joe Pesci get injured by Macaulay Culkin, his booby traps, or an old dude with a shovel

Finish your eggnog:
-Daniel Stern screams his dick off because there's a spider on his face
-Daniel Stern says "shit" even though the movie is PG

Final thoughts:
TK: The only way to keep the pace going in this one was to have a lot of rules. It's a little slow at the beginning, but once the Wet Bandits are in the house shit gets serious.
Vicki: I think it's good because most people have seen it enough to anticipate the parts where you have to drink. But maybe there should be a beginner and advanced version.

Well that's all for now. I'm not going to lie, I probably won't put a new sketch up until after the new year because I'm very lazy. I'll leave you with this amazing video clip (fun fact: this isn't from an actual movie, but was shot exclusively for Home Alone).

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