Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Twofer Tuesday

The Doomsday Clock is counting down fellas. That great fat red gift bearing / b&e loving bastard Sandy Claws is coming. Now I know what you're thinking little lady. You're thinking,
"Golly Nightmare Before Christmas is about as alternative as it gets! Why don't you write a blog about that? Cuz i'm an individual because I bought fingerless gloves from Hot Topic with Sally and Jack on them. Oh golly I'm so different."

Well knock that shit off lady. You're not special pretending to be a diet-goth cuz you like another Tim Burton jackoff festival captured on celluloid. Don't get me wrong though, there's nothing wrong with Nightmare I saw it in theatres when I was a kid and its a pretty gosh darned film. Where were we..? Oh yea Xmas. Did you know Xmas is just as respeckful to Jesus as calling it Christmas cuz X is the letter Chi in greek and that's the first letter of Jesus' name in greased language? Neat.

This week we're going to be focusing our attention on The Star Wars Xmas Special. It was released sometime in 1978 when apparently the budget for walking carpets (I would imagine Leia calling Chewie a walking carpet would be pretty racist in context, like calling a black person.. never mind) was a bit lacking so they just dyed a bunch of Klan robes red and paid good money for movie quality Chewie masks for the extras. Now don't get me wrong, I love Star Wars as much as the next guy who doesn't have much sex with the ladies, but we can all agree that this lurching abomination is probably the worst thing to come from the Star Wars franchise since Episode II. Side note: The best thing to come from Star Wars was this. You can find the entire Xmas special here, this is just a slice of the glory. So good.

I know this is only moderately Xmassy. Well its not at all, but we're still talking about Star Trek Star Wars so fuck you its funny. This is not the original vidya I've seen of this concept but the idea is solid gold. Take Darth Vader clips from other movies and play them on Star Wars film. Beautiful. My other plot was to put up the He-Man and She-Ra Xmas Special but it is like 45 minutes long and I know you sexy children all have ADD/ADHD so you can't sit still for that long. Its nothing but a bunch of anti-Skeletor christian propaganda anyway. Youtub it if you want, I don't care.

That's all for this week pre-teens and tweens. Tune in next week for what will definitely be the gayest Twofer I've ever posted.


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