Saturday, January 1, 2011

Drinking Game: Harry Potter META Game

(Blu Ray Only)
(Buy a Blu Ray player you hobo.)

To usher in the new year HotDamnTV has pulled out all the stops to bring your our most ambitious drinking game yet. Dozens of Bothan spies died to bring you this drinking game. Happy New Years you lot.

In a misguided and thinly veiled attempt to indoctrinate the world's youth into believing and practicing witchcraft most satanic, RK Jowlings that napkin toting slut, has somehow managed to suck cocks and make devil pacts with enough MPAA members to get these godless necronimica released as films! Whats worse there are 8, even more than there are unholy tomes, and they have been distributed in more languages than our good lords book! Fear not though, the Christian fundamentalist research division here at HotDamnTV has come to the rescue of both our minds and souls with the only thing that could possibly combat such villainy: DRINKING GAMES!

Step 1: Get a hold of any Harry Potter Movie (Blu Ray)
Step 2: ???
Step 3: Pick a character. Now I know What you're thinking, this isn't how these go, but stick with me. For the Harry Potter years 1-7 drinking games, you are going to experience the movie AS the character. Mostly whenever bad shit happens, it happens to your liver as well. You pick your horse, you stick with him throughout the movie. No switching once characters have or should have already boarded hogwarts express, and no fucking whining of your character is too hard or too easy. A set of general hints for maximum victory:

Pick RON, Hermione, Or Harry. These are gonna be your starters, if playing with additional people the Weasley Twins count as 1 character but you drink double.
If you choose a Teacher (Dumbledore is off limits because he's leet) you drink at a difficulty multiplier of 3x for all counts (Hagrid and all other Hogwarts staff that are alive are considered teachers).
A secondary STUDENT character you drink at a 4x difficulty multiplier.
If for some fucking reason you pick a non-Hogwarts-staff Ministry Employee, Order of the Phoenix Member, or Death Eater (Voldemort is also off limits) you drink at a 5x multiplier level. Should you find any other character loopholes, go ahead and drink at a 10x multiplier cool guy. And people dead during the current movie don't count!

Remember that while playing you not only drink for all global drinks, but for specific character induced drinks as well.

Character Rules:
Drink when your character:
Does magic
Is the victim of magic
Is hurt
Name is said
Gets a smooch
Receives an owl
Receives points to or from Gryffindor

Global Rules:
Drink whenever the following is seen:
Gryffindor receives house points
Gryffindor scores in a quiddich match
A magical creature
Brothas, at my hogwarts?! (there is only 1 black dude at Hogwarts so keep your eyes peeled)
Rain or snow
Scar hurting
Magic cloak
Marauders map
Broom flying

Drink whenever the following is heard:
Unforgivable curse performed or mentioned
Twins share a line
Ministry/Ministry of Magic/one of its departments
The name of a movie/subject of a movie is mentioned (Stone,sorcerors stone, chamber of secrets, azkaban, goblet of fire/etc)

Finish A Beer:
Whenever someone fucks up a bit of magic
Whenever someone dies
Someone actually talks TO a ghost

Final Thoughts:
Sean: Although you may need a pen and paper to remember when you're drinking, the immersive RPG experience of the HP meta game really pays dividends I think. The key here is going to be brothas at my Hogwarts, and selecting a good character. Harry might be a whore for spellcasting, but he may not be the best choice for every book. I'm looking at you middle 3 books. Add bonus points by marathoning games and don't pick the same character twice in a row!

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